What are you doing August 21, 2017?

If you live in the United States and your answer is anything other than "watching the total solar eclipse," I'm gonna say you need to change your plans.

Here's why this whole thing is so awesome.

First of all, it's a cosmic coincidence that total solar eclipses happen AT ALL. Our sun just happens to be 400 times bigger than the moon, but it also just happens to be 400 times farther away from us. So from our point of view on earth, they appear to be exactly the same size. The moon passes between the sun and the earth, causing a total solar eclipse, fairly often...it's visible from some point on earth about once every 18 months. But the path of totality crossing the United States? That's a little rarer. The last time it happened was in 1979, and it won't happen again until 2024.

So where's it gonna be visible? HERE:

That grey band is where you gotta be to see totality. You'll still get a pretty good show elsewhere (check out this guy's site for more info), but it's less than a day's drive to get to the path of totality from just about any point in the U.S. So I say go for it! Carpe diem, people!

Although...two warnings. Number one, don't look at the eclipse without eye protection. You can suffer serious permanent eye damage from looking directly at the sun, even when it's partially blocked by the moon. You can get special "eclipse glasses" for hella cheap on Amazon, though (pack of ten for $10). Regular sunglasses won't cut it. Number two, hotels and campsites along the path of totality are BOOKED SOLID, and have been for months. Because big space nerds like me plan their entire year around this.

BUT JUST CHECK OUT WHAT WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO!
Here's what will happen in the path of totality on August 21st, 2017, over the course of about half an hour. (DON'T FORGET TO WEAR ECLIPSE GLASSES!)

First Contact
As the moon starts to move in front of the sun, it will appear to take a little tiny bite out of it. You'll be able to see this with a telescope before you can see it with the naked eye.

Crescent projections may possibly be seen on various surfaces
As more of the sun is covered, it will look like a crescent. If you happen to be near some trees or other vegetation, look on the ground. The spaces between the leaves create a "pinhole camera," projecting images of the solar eclipse on the ground. You can also create this same effect by making your own pinhole projector--just punch a tiny hole in a sheet of paper or cardboard.

Changing light
The light will become noticeably dimmer. You may even notice a strange or eerie "tint" to the light as more of the sun is blocked, and colors will appear washed out.

Strange animal behavior
If you happen to be near wildlife, you may notice some changes in behavior. Animals don't keep calendars of solar eclipses (that we know of), so they interpret the darkening light as oncoming twilight, and may either settle in for the night, or get up and start their nocturnal activities. (Joke's on you, fauna!)

Sharpening shadows
Because of the angle and amount of light, shadows become much sharper. If you look at your own shadow, you may be able to see the shadows of the individual hairs on your arms.

Drop in temperature
Two thirds of the sun's radiation is in the form of heat, so as more of the sun is covered, we get less of that heat. The weather changes will vary depending on where you are, but you can expect an average drop in temperature of about 10 degrees Fahrenheit.

Oncoming umbral shadow
Quick! Look to the west! You'll see the moon's shadow barreling towards you as the eclipse continues. The shadow moves across the landscape at over 1000 mph! (By comparison, planes cruise at around 575 mph, and the speed of sound is about 767 mph.)

Shadow bands
Just before totality, you may be able to see shadow bands rippling across any white-colored surfaces nearby. The tiny sliver of sunlight remaining passes through layers of turbulent air in the earth's atmosphere, producing shadow bands--kind of like the patterns the sunlight makes in water.

Bailey's beads
The moon isn't a perfect sphere...it's got mountains and valleys just like earth. As it passes in front of the sun, a few last shafts of light pass through these valleys, creating bright "beads" of light in a ring around the moon.

Diamond ring
When only one of Bailey's beads remains, the moon will look like a diamond ring in the sky.

Totality! 
THE MOON WILL COMPLETELY BLOCK THE SUNLIGHT! Totality will last about two and a half minutes, depending on where you are. And it will be amazing. Night will fall during the middle of the day, and instead of the sun, there will only be a black disc visible in the sky.
For a few brief seconds at the beginning of totality, you may be able to see the sun's red outer photosphere and chromosphere. If you are lucky, you may even see prominences, red streamers of light created by eruptions on the sun.
You'll be able to see the stars and planets during the day. In the United States, you'll be able to see Venus, Jupiter, and maybe Mars and Mercury.
The light will create a 360-degree sunset.
And for a few brief minutes, you'll get to see the sun's corona...outer wispy layers of ionized gas that are only visible during a total solar eclipse. The translucent shafts of light shining out from all sides of the sun is one of the rarest sights in nature, and can be as bright as a full moon at night. This is the main source of light during an eclipse. If you have a telescope or binoculars, you can look for loops and arcs in the corona that reveal the sun's magnetic fields. The corona is very difficult to photograph, and photographs aren't able to capture the full live experience of viewing.

Then, Bailey's beads will become visible again, the umbral shadow will continue moving west, and everything else will happen in reverse order.

AND WE GET TO WITNESS IT! This is a cosmic MIRACLE. I know the word "miracle" has religious connotations, but I can't think of a good secular equivalent to describe how incredible it is that this happens and that we get to be alive and on earth and in the United States to see it.

So what are you waiting for?! Make your plans! Figure out the closest path of totality and tell your boss you're taking the day off.

Here's your packing list:
- Binoculars and/or telescope
- Eclipse glasses
- A pinhole camera (piece of cardboard with a hole poked in it)
- A large piece of white posterboard or foamcore board to see shadow bands
- A full tank of gas
- A sense of wonder.

See ya in 54 days, solar eclipse.

Learn more about the upcoming solar eclipse here, here, and especially here.

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What are you doing August 21, 2017?

If I were a drinker...

...I might pick this weekend to drink.

It's just been a long, intense, emotional week, and I dealt with it by spending WAY too much time in my head, to my own detriment and possibly to the temporary detriment of several friendships (sorry, everyone). There's not really any one particular thing going on. It's lots of things.

It's "Mockingbird" closing, which hurts so much that I haven't even really had the courage to face it. I was not ready for that show to end. And while I trust that I will have plenty of other meaningful experiences with other wonderful people, "Mockingbird" came at such an important time and I built so many incredible friendships and the story is so important...it's just hard to let go of.

It's this paper I'm supposed to be working on for my Narrative Journalism class, that I can't find my way into, that's so big and sprawling and all the quotes and research are all so overwhelming. And my interview with the one source that would have been the perfect "way in" fell through.

It's being divorced, and navigating all of the new territory I find myself in. The loneliness and freedom and uncertainty and unfamiliarity of it all.

It's missing my sister so much that my chest physically aches.

It's auditions for "The Heart of Robin Hood" coming up in a week, and being so busy and overwhelmed by other things that I didn't finalize an audition song until YESTERDAY, so now I'm trying to cram a lot of preparation into seven days.

It's feeling like my testimony is being rearranged a little bit right now. Which is, ultimately, a good thing, but it's not exactly comfortable.

It's not being able to find an ENTIRE 50,000-WORD DRAFT of one of my old NaNoWriMo novels, which is actually still so overwhelming that I haven't fully pursued looking for it.

It's trying to balance my introverted need for alone time and my lonely need for companionship, which I haven't had to do to this extent since I was twenty-two or so, when I was a slightly different person under very different circumstances.

It's re-evaluating what I really want. In friendships. In Church. In life. In relationships. In how I spend my time. I feel like I have a solid core of understanding about who I am, and about the big abstract things I want. I want to be kind and learn a lot and experience things fully and make other people's lives better and create meaningful art. But it's figuring out the concrete, every day ways to do those things that's taking some re-evaluation.

It's doing one improv show and feeling like my contributions to it were small and pretty mediocre, and then doing another improv show that was so so solid.


But it hasn't JUST been challenging things. There have been great things this last week, too.

Getting really positive feedback on one of my workshop pieces for my MFA.

My 3-year-old nephew gleefully screaming my name and running to hug me when I showed up to babysit, and the hilarious speed with which my 10-month-old nephew crawls.

Sitting and talking with girls from the "Mockingbird" cast while we played with five adorable tiny puppies.

Having some pretty awesome validation for my work as an actress.

Buying a bunch of new bras that I'm OBSESSED with.

Eating popsicles and watching a documentary with a friend on a Tuesday night.

Finishing a painting and having it turn out even better than I had envisioned.

Spending time with the cast and crew of "Mockingbird" on a Sunday afternoon, eating food and talking and laughing.

Good conversations (even though some have also been scary conversations) with friends, with family, with my therapist, with my God.

Dinner with an old friend and his significant other, eating amazing Thai food and laughing and talking and reminiscing.


See? Beautiful and challenging things. It's just I've got a lot spinning around my mind-grapes nowadays, and it can be overwhelming experiencing all of this while simultaneously working 20 hours a week, taking MFA classes, and also doing all the little stupid things that need to be done, like filling the gas tank and doing the dishes and fixing the bathroom faucet and folding the laundry and restringing the guitar and finishing that graphic design project and refilling a prescription and getting groceries and watering the plants and sewing the sleeves on those blouses and eating and sleeping and basic hygiene.


I'm real grateful for a 3-day weekend, y'all. I don't have any solid plans, and I keep thinking about possible impromptu road trips that I probably can't afford to go on. But boy, are my feet itchin' to go on a road trip. I started this blog by saying that if I were a drinker, I'd drink this weekend. But I think it would just be another form of "running away." There have been lots of times in my life when I've "run away," but I've always come back. It's just a momentary escape. A moment to re-align my mirrors, get my head on straight, take a breath. I'd stop running away if it stopped working.

When I left work on Friday, my boss asked me what my weekend plans were. I said, "I might go on a road trip." When he asked where, I said, "I haven't decided yet." And I'm still deciding. Deciding whether I even need or want to run away, and if I do, what form it will take. But whether I hop in the car and keep driving or sit at home and paint, I'm really glad I have a long weekend to do so.

art via David Wallace

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If I were a drinker...

Three books, two bags, one me

Jacob and I just got back from a whirlwind trip to New York City, and I'm going to write about it.

So, both Jacob and my brother-in-law Dave made it to final callbacks at The New School. And I was free, so I decided to tag along and splurge on a few shows while I was there. We took the red-eye on Friday night, arriving Saturday morning, and then left again on Monday. So it was a SUPER SHORT trip, but we managed to pack some good times in there.

WHAT DIDN'T HAPPEN DURING OUR TRIP TO NEW YORK: 

1. Winning the lottery for Hamilton, even though we entered like, 3 times.
2. Running into Daniel Radcliffe and becoming friends with him, in a platonic "meet-cute" sort of situation. (Before we left Utah, I told Jacob that I had a daydream about this, and he replied, "You've had that daydream every time we've gone to New York." Which is true.)
3. Me opening Snapchat and singing "History is happenin' in Manhattan and we just happen to be in the greatest city in the world!" while wandering Manhattan. Even though I was tempted. Like, every 15 seconds that I was in Manhattan.

WHAT DID HAPPEN DURING OUR TRIP TO NEW YORK: 

Here it is in verbal form.

1. Jacob and I stayed with our friends, Sean and Danielle, whom we know from Rexburg. They recently moved to New York and we spent hours picking Danielle's brain about the acting work she's been doing.
2. Danielle and I got catcalled by a guy in a bagel costume. The catcalling thing would usually annoy me, but the addition of the bagel costume made the entire thing so ridiculous that I had to just laugh at it.
3. We were also able to run around with friends Omar (who was there doing acting career research) and Jeff (who lives there). Good times were had in the Drama Bookshop and Shake Shack.
4. Jacob and Dave did callbacks, which culminated in a  24-hour play festival, which I got to watch.
5. Saw an SLC friend Ben's one-man show, "The BYU/Berkley Plot."
6. Saw two Broadway shows, which I'll devote separate paragraphs to.
7. Wandered the Met by myself for a few hours.
8. Had this bizarre encounter while waiting in line for a play...

People behind me in line: "I think that show's closed. It's in Salt Lake now. Is it? I can't remember."
Me: "It is. I'm from Salt Lake."
People behind me in line: "No kidding! We are too!"
Me: "No way!"
People behind me in line: "So where in Salt Lake do you live?"
Me: "In South Salt Lake, near --- South and --- East. How about you?"
People behind me in line: "Whoa. We live at [names an address roughly two blocks away from our apartment]."

Of the 9 million people in New York City, we bumped into each other. The universe is bizarre, man.



And if you don't follow me on snapchat (@lizannechapman), here's the trip in snapchat story form.



And here's a brief, geeky drama kid earful about the two Broadway shows I got to see.

THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT-TIME

I just re-read this book for my YA Lit class, so I was especially excited to see it adapted for the stage. And boy, was it adapted for the stage. The National Theatre just knows how to utilize THEATRE to tell a story. There are things you can do in theatre that you can't do in any other medium. And you guys. The sound design. The set design. The costumes. The concepts. THEATRE IS SO FRICKIN' MAGICAL. The show won Tony's this past year for Best Play, Best Direction, and Best Lighting Design, Best Scenic Design. It was nominated for Choreography, even though it wasn't a musical. Alex Sharp won Best Actor for his portrayal of Christopher. I saw his replacement, Tyler Lea, who was perfect and sympathetic and charming and wonderful and honest. I was so impressed by his work. 

Here are two clips, showing some highlights of the show. There aren't any good (legal) clips of specific scenes, just because the nature of the adaptation doesn't really separate the plot into tidy "scenes." Things transition pretty quickly. But these still give a good glimpse of the show.

SOMETHING ROTTEN

I was debating between seeing Fun Home and Something Rotten for my last show. But I finally decided that Curious Incident was a thought-provoking, moving piece of theatre, and that I should end my trip with a "big and shiny, mighty fine-y, glitter-glitz-and-chorus-line-y, bob-your-head-and-shake-your-hiney musical." So "Something Rotten" it was. And it was perfect.

First of all, Christian Borle. You know, the guy who won a Tony for playing Shakespeare in "Something Rotten"? Who won another Tony for the role of Black Stache in "Peter and the Starcatcher"? Who played various roles in the original cast of "Spamalot," including the Historian and Prince Herbert?

Yeah, him.

I got to see him. And he was totally deserving of that Tony Award.

The show was funny and dazzling and charming. There weren't any deep, dramatic messages, but there was joy and talent, and it gave me a song to sing for when I'm blue.

Here are a handful of clips from "Something Rotten." There are a few more of these, just because the show lends itself better to performances of certain numbers.

"It's Hard to Be the Bard" at the White House


"A Musical" at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade


Mashup of "God I Hate Shakespeare" and "Will Power" from The Today Show



Jacob and I have no idea if New York is in our near future. He went to grad school auditions at several different schools around the country, and who knows what the results will be. And it could be that we decide to just stick around Salt Lake for a while after all.

But I left New York filled with the reminder that no matter where my life and career take me, I'll always always always adore theatre. My heart is just there, and I can't imagine that I'll ever be truly at home anywhere else. I belong to the theatre, undeniably and unavoidably. It was good for my soul to remember that.

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Three books, two bags, one me

Dear Diary

Well, it's been a while since I last wrote. I was gonna blog about Donald Drumpf at some point, but what more can I say than what has already been said? Thanks, John Oliver. I'm too tired to write at length about politics. I'm writing at length about writing, nowadays.

My MFA is going well. I kind of wish I had taken 3 classes instead of 2...I'll probably do that after these semesters are done. I'm taking poetry and screenwriting next semester--woo hoo!

I recently blogged about all the awesome stuff I have to look forward to. I've accomplished a few of them, and added a few more items. Disneyland was AMAZING. We rode Indiana Jones as a family 3 times, and all 3 times, Beckah got to be the driver. (Which meant that I spent most of the ride yelling at her to find the lights, step on the gas, and "get us outta here!" Apologies to our fellow riders, who didn't realize they were getting drama kids in their group.)We also introduced Beckah to Space Mountain, which she'd never been on. At the end of the ride, we all turned around to ask her what she thought, and she just looked at us and unsmilingly shook her head. Happy birthday, Beckah! Other highlights included watching a fireworks show from Main Street, almost crying on the Peter Pan ride, and, according to my FitBit, walking 57,342 steps in two days. (Daily average is about 8,000.)

(In line for Indiana Jones. Beckah and I have never looked more like sisters in a picture than we do in this picture. Even though all of us look kind of like cartoons.)

The trip to Rexburg last weekend was lovely, and I was reminded (again) of how lucky I am to have such amazing in-laws. Think of the best cast you've ever been in, or the best improv team you've been part of, or your best group of friends. Now realize that those people will be your actual family. FOREVER. It's so awesome.

In stuff added to the list of Things To Look Forward To, I don't start rehearsals for Cabaret until June, and I noticed that the Hale Orem was doing Jane Eyre, which closes June 4th, so I auditioned last-minute, and GOT CAST. I get to play THREE roles: mean ole schoolmarm Miss Scatcherd, the aristocratic Mrs. Dent, AND crazy, locked up Bertha Mason. I'm most excited about playing Bertha. And I get to be double cast with Lauren Hughes, one of my favorite fellow actresses.

I don't know what cast I'm in yet, but the show runs April 24th - June 4th! Details to follow. There are some familiar faces in the cast--folks I worked with during Damn Yankees and/or Oklahoma, and I'm excited to get to know them better, and to make new friends as well.

Of course, I don't know the music from this show AT ALL. And I was reminded last night at rehearsal that I suck at sight-reading. I spent twenty minutes tonight trying to plunk out notes on our keyboard. Why are the alto parts of awesome-sounding chords so HARD?

Also, I've been keeping this hush-hush for a while, but Jacob and I have been writing for a Late Nite type show exclusively on youtube, and we're filming the first episodes this Saturday! Well, they are. Jacob and I will be in New York. But our jokes will be spoken. The show is called That Late Show (with Cassidy Hilton) and the guests are all social media stars and it's gonna be awesome. We had a final planning/writing meeting tonight, and man, these people all know what they're doing. They're great comedians and storytellers and entertainers, and I'm just excited to be part of something like this. I'll post links to new episodes when they're uploaded! Aaaaaand if you're in the Salt Lake Area this weekend, go be part of the studio audience! There will be pizza, shirts, hilarity, and other feelings. Check out the Facebook event here.

Oh! And I've been snap-chatting a lot lately. I recently re-downloaded snapchat, and this time around, I'm a huge fan. My stories usually include cute snaps of my nephew, me rapping Hamilton, thoughts from my car about auditions, and other stuff that's interesting enough to share, but not interesting enough to share on Instagram. I hella snapped Disneyland, too, and I'll probably do the same with New York this weekend. Feel free to follow! Username lizannechapman.

Welp. Jacob and I are leaving for New York on a red-eye in less than 24 hours, and I'm starving, and my Kindle is calling my name, and the spot between Jacob's shoulder and jaw is missing my head. (I think that last part was romantic, but I'm not quite sure--it doesn't quite ring the way I wanted it to...the point is I want to cuddle?)

Sleep well, my dearies.

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Dear Diary

The year of the reel*

WELCOME TO THE NEW YEAR! I'm sure there are grammatical inconsistencies in this, but I'm too lazy to correct them. There are also several design inconsistencies, but I'm too lazy to correct those too. Anyway. Here's our family newsletter for 2014!

Also, if we look cool at all this past year, it's because of Cassidy Hilton. He took the above picture, and he also wrote and directed "The Interrogation," which is probably one of the coolest things we've ever filmed.

*double-entendre, pun intended. We dove into film work this year (film "reel") and made a lot of exciting transitions (the mind "reels"). 

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The year of the reel*

Moving Day Neuroses

I have developed a habit of being miserable for the first night I spend in a new place.

It's not a consistent habit, but I'm certainly feeling that way now. Occasionally (usually when I'm transitioning into something that scares me out of my mind), I have this moment of terror-induced despair, when it seems like absolutely nothing about my new situation is right.

Take tonight, for example.

Jacob got back from New York last night--hooray! We spent last night and this morning together, and then I loaded up the van and drove down here to Utah. He's joining me tomorrow with the Uhaul. And maybe it's the fact that we spent a week and a half apart, but I miss him a lot for this one night we STILL have to spend apart.

Our new apartment is wonderful, but there are details I hadn't anticipated/noticed. For example, I have no idea how or where we'll store anything in the bathroom. It's the size of a postage stamp. The kitchen sink sprays water with tremendous force, and one closet door is perpetually stuck. These are things that I'm sure I'll find charming later, but tonight it's all enough to send me into fits of sorrow.

It doesn't help that it's roughly 4000 degrees in our apartment.

I'm all for summer weather, but it's almost 11 pm and it's still 81 degrees out there. Which I would also love, if we had an air conditioner to take the edge off.

Okay, so we do have an air conditioner. It's just still in Idaho. Along with my husband.

I think I'm also feeling particularly vulnerable tonight as well. Partly because I did an audition today, and those are always terrifying. Half of me feels okay about it, and the other half is certain that I sucked worse than anyone has ever sucked at an audition. I was just so nervous! I didn't know a soul, and I didn't give the accompanist the tempo beforehand, and I couldn't figure out where to look, and I tried belting a note which I had been using mixed voice for, and I hit it but it wasn't amazing, and I forgot all of my blocking, and basically everything I've ever learned or practiced about a good audition flew out of my head from the moment I entered that room. The producers did spend a few minutes whispering to one another after I finished, which is a fact that I will proceed to overanalyze for the next week or so. Jacob said it's probably a good thing...they wouldn't talk about me if they weren't interested. If I could just get a callback--I'm terrible at initial auditions, but being called back gives me the confidence to do well. I'll keep you posted.

The other thing is that our house is actually a duplex, and I can't figure out who our neighbors actually are, because there seems to be a constant flow of people, surrounded by clouds of cigarette smoke, and I'm pretty sure I just heard either a wolf or a very very large dog howling somewhere in their place. New people scare me. And because I'm a woman alone in a strange new place, I'm suspicious and vaguely certain that sometime in the next 12 hours, I'm going to be robbed, raped, murdered, or all of the above. I'm sure they're nice people, but I'm too scared (about everything in my life) to believe it right now.

I'm just feeling that there's a lot to be scared of tonight. Not getting cast. Not getting hired. Not making friends. The wolf/dog creature next door attacking. The people next door being horrid. Being robbed. Being raped. Being murdered. Choking to death on a fruit snack. Cockroaches attacking. Falling down the cellar stairs.

You see what I do when I'm anxious? Stupid brain.

I know that by this time tomorrow night, it will all be fine. I'LL be fine. Jacob will be here, and all our stuff will be here, and I can spend all day decorating and organizing all of it, which is one of my FAVORITE things. And my feeling that I don't know a soul here is not based at all in reality...I know LOTS of people around here. In fact, the majority of my fears listed up there are not based in reality. Most of them are extremely unlikely. And even if they DO happen, most of them are survivable. And really, when it comes down to it, no matter what happens, everything will be okay.

So I'm choosing to focus on that fact.

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Moving Day Neuroses

Lessons learned from a 22-hour trip to Utah

Going to Sephora will not make you feel confident. It will only make you feel poor. Because you do not have $195 to spend on eye makeup. And it turns out that you already DID know how to do an "everyday eye" look, and you don't actually need the Sephora girl's expertise.

City Creek Mall, in general, will make you feel poor. You will hunt for a women's button-up shirt for an hour or two before deciding that human beings are crazy to spend $55 on a women's button-up shirt. You will leave City Creek feeling like you are leaving Panem's Capitol, with plans to visit DI when you get home.

Fear is a powerful force, but it does not have to rule you. Reserves of courage can be found over and over again, even when you are feeling that you have none left.

You will also find reserves of positivity, even when the day's tasks have left you feeling fatalistically discouraged.

Food has the power to revive courage and positivity.

Grapes are the best summer road trip food ever.

If ever you have the chance to sing Frozen's "Let It Go" while driving into a thunderstorm in the evening, DO IT. Because it will be the most epic thing you have ever done.

Never, ever, ever attempt to drive to Utah at 6 am and drive back the same night. You will get home at around 3:30 am, and despite the naps you took at rest stops and gas stations, you will be exhausted. So much so that you are physically ill the next day. Because 22 hours of driving and running errands is not okay with the human body or spirit.

The best resources on a trip like this are a loving husband, and a loving Heavenly Father, both of whom will give you encouragement throughout the day.

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Lessons learned from a 22-hour trip to Utah

Give oh give away

So, my first blog giveaway was kind of a fail. Well, no. It was a fail (not kind of). Because no one entered it. But I've decided that's okay. Because between the GoFundMe campaign and the ticket sales of the Rexburg shows this weekend and the last minute raffle we did and other donations/subsidies, Bielzy and Gottfried has raised close to $7000 for the New York trip. When compared to the total cost of the trip (over $1000 per person, and there are about 20 people going), it's not a huge amount. But considering it's all due to the generosity and support of others, it's an ENORMOUS sum. And we are all so grateful for it.

I'm going to leave the donate button up for a few more weeks, in case anyone would like to contribute. I thought about re-opening the giveaway to give it another shot, but to be honest, I don't think I've got the time or energy to do it. There are a ton of awesome rewards when you donate to the GoFundMe campaign, though, so donating won't be completely prize-less.

I think in another time and place, I could have been really upset about this failure of a giveaway. But I've spent the last two days surrounded by people who love and support the arts, and I've witnessed more generosity than I could ever have dreamed. And that makes anything that happened (or didn't happen) on the blog this week totally okay.

As fallible and foolish as we are, humanity is capable of beautiful things. And that's what's on my mind today.

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Give oh give away

"So many of us choose our paths out of fear disguised as practicality."

August 2014:

In order to:
1. Pursue theatre and maybe a little film among the many theaters and actors and producers and directors we have connections with in the Utah Valley area.
2. Build our resumes in more professional theatre settings before setting off on adventures elsewhere.

Why:




Jacob and I's collective passions are theatre, writing, comedy, and education. We're pretty sure that we will never make more than $60,000 in any given year of our life together, TOPS. But we're totally okay with that...it's more than enough to meet our needs. In American culture, pursuing career paths in theatre or writing seems illogical or frowned upon. But why would we pursue something we don't want to do, for money that we don't need? We'd rather be poor and happy than rich and hating our jobs.

We've been sitting on this knowledge for a while--our decision to move to Utah, I mean. I've been reluctant to stay in the Rocky Mountain area, but this move both makes sense and feels right. The fact that we've known for a while has also given me ample time to think about all the things we have to look forward to:

1. Theatre/film opportunities! This is the main reason we're heading down there--there are so many more options and opportunities available, and we're excited to explore them all.

2. Restaurants. So many. So good. My eating out habit is about to get worse. And better. (Jacob, DO YOU REALIZE WE'LL HAVE ACCESS TO IN-AND-OUT BURGER ALL THE TIME?!)

3. The airport. It's RIGHT THERE. I don't have to look for more expensive flights from Idaho Falls or worry about taking the shuttle.

4. Public transportation! Buses! Trains! Yay for options and greener living!

5. IKEA. When decoration is needed, it shall be done both inexpensively and well.

6. H and M. Not that we really NEED more clothes, but if and when we do, they shall be well-fitting, inexpensive, and good-looking.

7. Concerts! A good handful of bands make their way to Salt Lake City, and we shall watch them play shows. There's also much more of a music scene in the area than there is in Rexburg. Rexburg has a DECENT scene, but not a big one, and people in Rexburg aren't willing to pay for shows, so bands don't always last very long.

8. Friends! We have a handful of close friends and a handful of respected acquaintances and we're excited to spend time with more of them.

9. Family! Grandma and Grandpa Fraughton, let's meet up to talk about holistic medicine and jam in that old church home of yours. And speaking of holistic medicine, Uncle Don and family, how about dinner sometime?

10. Costco. You can bet your bottom shekel that I'll be getting a membership.

11. Community classes. In a big city like Salt Lake, there are plenty of dance studios and arial silks gymnastics classes and fencing workshops and pole dancing lessons and so much more. Hooray for life-long learning!

12. And Trader Joe's! I hadn't even thought of that until my mother-in-law brought it up.

13. Places will be open past midnight!




There are a lot of things we will miss about Rexburg. Family, friends, the university. But we're excited for this next adventure. I kept thinking, while we were brainstorming about our "next step," that it would somehow have to be our final one, or a long-term one. But it doesn't have to be. It makes me feel a bit unsettled, but also gives me an enormous amount of comfort. We don't have to plan everything right now. Just one step at a time. This is one leg of the journey, and who knows where it will take us.

We're still working out the details--where exactly we're living, steady income, specific dates. But whatever those details are, I feel good about where we're heading, and why.

On a related note, a brief reminder:

Wanna help support other big dreams? 

Donate to "Bielzy and Gottfried" and enter the blog giveaway! 

Deadline is noon (MDT) on Friday, June 20th! 

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"So many of us choose our paths out of fear disguised as practicality."

Donation Giveaway!

I've never done one of these blog giveaway things before, so you know it's an important cause now that I AM doing one.

So, Jacob was in a play a few years ago called "Bielzy and Gottfried," written by one of the theatre professors here on campus. He's been asked to reprise his role this July at the Midtown International Theatre Festival in New York City! He's also accompanying the show on the guitar. It's an incredible opportunity for him to make a few connections and build his resume. But as you can imagine, an 11-day trip to New York City doesn't come cheap. So he and the rest of the cast and crew have set up a Go Fund Me campaign. (It's like Kickstarter, except you still get to keep the money if you don't make your goal.) And I am asking you, humble readers, to donate.

But there's something in it for you! We're doing a little giveaway for those who donate $5 or more to the cause. Every $5 you donate gets you one entry in the giveaway. And your prize?

1 Namaste tote bag from Seeker of Happiness ($12)

1 $10 Jamba Juice gift card ($10)

A free signed copy of my poetry book, "The Scent of Water" ($9/priceless)

A personal song of thanks written and recorded by Jacob Chapman (priceless)

2 king size candy bars of your choice ($2)

A signed copy of Midas Whale's album "Sugar House" (priceless/$9)*

One framed art print of a quote of your choice ($10)

A signed copy of the script of "Bielzy and Gottfried" (priceless)

That's like, $50 worth of awesome. Plus all that priceless stuff.
So it's like, an awesome, priceless prize.

THE RULES

So here's how it will work! Go to the GoFundMe campaign page. Donate whatever amount you'd like--every $5 gets you one entry into the giveaway (so, if you donate $20, you get 4 entries). Be sure to include at least your first name, and in the comment section, write "Blog giveaway." Like this: 

Then, one week from today, I shall gather up all the names of those who have donated, and draw one lucky winner. You can enter as many times as you would like! And remember that the more you donate, the better your chances of winning! Aaaaaaand, you will qualify for the rewards on GoFundMe as well. So even if you don't win the giveaway, you'll still get some cool stuff just for participating.

GIVEAWAY CLOSES ON 

FRIDAY, JUNE 20TH AT HIGH NOON, MOUNTAIN STANDARD TIME. 

So what are you waiting for? Go donate! 

Click here to visit GoFundMe.com

* For you Midas Whale fans out there, Jon is playing the role of Job in the production of Bielzy and Gottfried! 

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Donation Giveaway!

Through the looking glass, or "Mythical Egin," or "Guys, Brigadoon is in Idaho"

During the summer of 2009, Jordan Tait let me borrow his Honda Trail 110 from April to August.

Me with the Honda Trail (and my regular bike), back when I wore shorter shorts. 

During that summer, I got in the habit of joyriding among southeast Idaho's back roads. The Honda topped out at around 45 mph, but it was fast enough to make me feel alive in the afternoons when I should have been in grammar class. I never paid attention to where I was going--I just took corners when it pleased me to do so, and wandered until I was ready to go home, then made my way back. I suppose you could say I got lost, but I was never really trying to get anywhere, and my internal compass always led me back to Rexburg.

In the summer months of 2012, I drove a Kymco People 150 scooter. It was an automatic, so it was easier to steer, and topped out at 50 mph, so I could feel 5mph more alive while joyriding through Rexburg's surrounding countryside. I got used to several routes, and my favorite area to ride was around Hibbard.

There was one afternoon when I started out in Hibbard, but just kept wandering. I found myself in an area where I'd never been...there were more trees than usual, and flocks of birds rose up from the fields and lakes nearby. Maybe it was something about the angle of the light, or the time of year, but it seemed enchanted.

In retrospect, I don't know how I found out I was in the Egin area. But it was MAGICAL. I came home and told Jacob that I'd discovered a mythical land where everyone waved at you and had a pet goat. I kept passing people in their yards, watering their gardens in the late afternoon light. It was that time of day when the sun is lowering, and the air cools, and the bare earth beneath your feet is still warm from the noon heat. Every person I passed raised an arm in greeting. And there were a bizarre number of pet goats. It seemed like I saw a goat on a tether in every other yard I passed.

But it was the ferris wheel that truly won me over. I was already charmed by the friendly people and the tethered goats, but as I turned a corner, I passed a yard with a huge metal structure in front of it. It was a ferris wheel. A FERRIS WHEEL. Like, a small one with six cars or so, that looked like it had just been made at home, in some guys' welding garage. Maybe it was unsafe or structurally unsound or something, but the whimsy of it completely enchanted me.

I've tried to find Egin a few times since that magical afternoon, but I've never succeeded. In this modern age, I realize that I've got GPS and Google Maps and all kinds of tools at my disposal to re-find Egin, but I kind of don't want to use them. It would take away from the mythical nature of it. Besides, it wouldn't tell me exactly where in Egin I was wandering that day.

Maybe Egin is like Brigadoon...it only appears once every hundred years or so. Maybe the conditions have to be just right; like, the light has to be at a certain angle, and it has to be at a certain time of year, and you have to be on a motorcycle or scooter or something.

I keep looking. Every now and then I drive out in that direction, instinctively following tree-lined streets, looking for goats and ferris wheels in the front yards. But maybe it can't be recreated. Maybe it was a moment in time, and everything was magical and it can never quite be the same way again. Maybe I'm Gatsby, reaching for the green light, trying desperately to "recreate the past."

But whatever. It's pleasant driving around the backroads outside of Rexburg, turning corners by impulse, waiting to stumble upon something magical.

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Through the looking glass, or "Mythical Egin," or "Guys, Brigadoon is in Idaho"

"No Such Thing": A Throwback Real-time Memoir

Dug this out of the drafts today. Back in September, I flew to southern Oregon for my ten-year high school reunion. I wrote about it at the time, but somehow never published what I wrote. So here it is now.

Sharis in the rain. The quintessential high school in Oregon experience. 

Friday, September 20, 2013
2:30 pm
It's been a long day of travel but I'm here safe and sound. It seemed like there were so many obstacles to me getting here that it didn't quite hit me that I could go until I was here. Felt like an adult getting a rental car at the airport.
It's surreal to drive around and not have any idea where you are, even though its your hometown. I finally realized I was in Central Point, because I drove past the elementary school where I used to volunteer with Jared Doshier.
Hotel is cheap...hidden behind the Motel 6 where Mom would always stay, near the Dairy Queen. It's far from classy, but only terrifying enough to lend a sense of adventure to the trip. Like, the fan and lights may not have covers, but the walls are painted a stylish shade of blue. Had a brief moment of alarm when the shower faucet emitted orange water, but it cleared after a few seconds. I just won't drink it.
Meeting the old gang of drama/choir girls at Fichtner Park in half an hour. I'm debating about whether or not to take a Xanax. On the one hand, it's a little tranquilizing, but on the other hand, fear is equally paralyzing and far more uncomfortable. I truly haven't seen these girls in ten years. I'm self-conscious about the massive zit on my chin, but hey, these are friends. And I simply didn't want to go through the effort of packing and putting on and taking off makeup.
I'm going to try and find Fichtner Park from memory. (The GPS is in the car as a backup plan.)

Friday, September 20, 2013
6:34 pm
I did take half a Xanax, but I don't think I needed it. Everything fell right back into place...our friendships picked up right where we had left off. Of course, our circumstances are different...namely, half of us have children now, and our conversations were punctuated by the occasional "Don't eat that please," and "Yes, I see you, good job." But other than that, so much remained the same. Sarah still talks with her hands. Brette still tells great stories. Kristin is still proactive and passionate. Mekela has the same sweet smile. Amanda has the same wonderful way of talking. Sarah is still the serene and kind friend she always was.
We had all agreed to meet at a park, partly because it was the park where we would eat in high school and partly so the kids could entertain themselves. I got there and sat in the car for a few minutes, a little bit at a loss about how to proceed. For one thing, I didn't have anyone's phone numbers, and for another, I was terrified. I sat there thinking, "How do I do this?" until I finally replied to myself, "You just do it. That's how." I got out of the car and walked toward the playground, scanning for familiar faces when I noticed Brette, with baby George on her hip. We hugged and suddenly re-connecting wasn't hard at all. I didn't need all the social advice I'd been giving myself all day. Things just happened on their own.
Everyone else soon arrived, and we talked about the things that have changed for us...some joys, some surprises, some tragedies. Unexpected pregnancies, dream jobs, family crises, and accomplished goals. I'm excited for tomorrow. :)

Saturday, September 21, 2013
10:29 am
When you don't have television at home, that's one of the luxuries of staying in a hotel. I might have laid in bed in my underwear and watched 3 hours of "Say Yes to the Dress" last night.

Saturday, September 21, 2013
1:57 pm
Enjoying fish and chips at the Black Sheep pub in Ashland. Was tempted to catch a matinee at OSF, but remembered how poor we are and resisted. Had visions of spending the day lounging in Lithia Park, but it's grey and rainy. I did end up putting on the makeup I bought yesterday at Fred Meyer in a traditional compulsive Fred Meyer splurge. Take that, adult acne.
Spent this morning driving around a few old familiar haunts...old high school, old Medford house. (That house is so ugly now. Ugh. Orange and brown paint, and the huge backyard is now an entire second house.) Wishing it was warmer...I could do with some wild blackberries while sitting in Bear Creek Park. I could be happy living in Southern Oregon.
I think a drive back to Medford and lounging/exploring until the shindig tonight.
(Maybe I should run my lines...?)

Sunday, September 22, 2013
9:59 pm
Yeah, I never ran my lines. Instead I had an awesome time with wonderful friends whom I haven't seen in years. And it was worth it. :) My voice was kinda gone for a lot of today from yelling over music last night. It was awesome.
I had a similar moment of paralysis in the parking lot when I got to the reunion...a brief sitting-in-the-car-feeling-uncertain. But then I saw Amanda, and just like in high school, she was there by my side. The winery where we had the reunion was gorgeous, out in Applegate, with great pasta and lovely views.

The DJ played music from high school, and we all talked for hours and hours. It was fun to simultaneously reconnect and learn about our new selves. We haven't changed so much as grown more into ourselves. In high school, you're still this scared teenager, even if high school is a good experience for you. But in ten years, a lot of the fear and "phases" have sloughed away to reveal more of who we are. There was something beautiful about recognizing that in each other.
At the end of the night, it was Brette, Kristen and her husband Adam, Sarah and her husband Caleb, and I, just standing in the parking lot, talking until the people at the winery told us they were closing the gates. It was close to 11 and I had said about an hour earlier that I had to head home but then kept enjoying the conversation. Someone said they heard a few people went to the Jacksonville Tavern and suggested we go. At first I was reluctant...it was late, I was tired, it was a long day ahead of me. But then I thought, "Hell. I haven't seen these people in ten years, and who knows when we'll all be together again. To the tavern!" It was crowded and loud and wonderful. I said something about getting a Shirley Temple, but when I got to the bar, Kristen was turning around with a Shirley Temple in her hand. She handed it to me with a wink and said, "It's an honor to buy you your first drink."
I decided that Kristen and her husband are a much cooler, more realized version of Jacob and I and that we should all four of us be friends and do that thing where we have each other over for dinner. The Oregon Shakespeare Festival said they hire about 8 couples every year...maybe we will move to southern Oregon.
The next morning was breakfast with Jesse and Kathleeny and little Danny, whose existence still makes me so happy. Also, the food was amazing. As usual. It was so good to see them again, however briefly.
That afternoon was playing with Georgia and cuddling Ruth while chatting with Carrie and Scott. Georgia wore this outfit:

And also told me that my legs were hairy. But then she got wrapped in a blanket and leaned her little head on my shoulder until I laid her in bed, so I didn't mind the hairy legs comment. Besides, it was true.

I keep trying to come up with a non-cliche word or phrase to describe this weekend. But my creativity fails me so I'll just conclude by saying it was just what I needed.

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"No Such Thing": A Throwback Real-time Memoir

How to.

Step One:
Do this.
$165.06 as of November 30
$265.06 as of December 13
$255.06 as of December 20
$305.06 as of December 21
$380.06 as of December 26
$680.06 as of January 3
$840.06 as of January 8
$1000.00 as of January 10

Step Two: 
Have generous family members who are willing to match what you save.

Step Three: 
Get a small loan for the rest.

Step Four: 
Withdraw all the money from the bank and give it to the people giving you a loan, and feel like you're doing something illegal by holding all that cash.

Step Five: 
Drive to Idaho Falls.

Step Six: 
Come home with this.

Meet our new car! 

A 2002 Toyota Sienna we have named "Billfold," or "Billie" for short. 

She's got good gas mileage AND a VCR.

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How to.

In other news...

2014 is here! Here's our family newsletter for the year 2013.

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In other news...

California via Instagram

We're at the Playmill! We rehearse 9 hours a day, so I probably won't be blogging lots for the next few weeks. But before we came here to the Playmill, we went to California. And I'm going to pretend my blog is the same thing as Instagram and post all my pictures from our trip!

I'll even include a few hashtags.

(Okay, what I'm actually doing is just posting my Instagram pictures from the trip with almost the exact same captions. So if you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, um...sorry.)

Starting out.

Stopping by Mars on our way to California. #spacetourism

I feel like Katniss coming to the Capitol for the first time. #vivalasvegas

Dust devils in the Mojave.

World's Largest Thermometer!

Phelan area. This is the bumpiest highway ever.

Solo lunch in a diner in Ventura. I like visiting new places.

This neighborhood has the approval of Jacob Chapman and the lead singer of Pearl Jam.

Driving along the coast on the way to LA. #malibu

Luke's Diner! Under construction. #wbtour #gillmoregirls

They film "The Mentalist" here. We improv'd an interrogation in the interrogation room. (During which I almost broke the blinds on the window, in my haste to tell my colleague that our suspect "has the goods at his grandmother's house.") #wbtour

Star's Hollow, Connecticut! #wbtour #gillmoregirls

Shout out to Jon and Ryan! #wbtour #midaswhale

A flying Ford Anglia. #wbtour #harrypotter

Just a few FRIENDS hanging out at The Central Perk! #wbtour

The wand is choosing the wizard. This is Sirius Black's wand, and it was also meant to be mine. #harrypotter #wbtour

"Urban Light" art installation in LA. And some hip urban people. #LAwithAllison

Grauman's Chinese Theatre. #LAwithAllison

Jacob's life is a musical. Especially when he's at Disneyland. #disneyland

This is happiness. #disneyland

Rode the ride I was always afraid of when I was a kid. #hauntedmansion #disneyland

Secret to skipping long lines. Greatest discovery EVER. #disneyland

Just settin' on a porch on Main Street at the end of a magical day. #disneyland

Hanging out in the old familiar "blue room" at Oma and Opa's. #sfbayarea

Reunited with the Pacific. #sfbayarea

Just a sea lion, lounging here in Santa Cruz. I know it looks like he's dead, but he's just sleeping. Also, I almost dropped my phone in the ocean while taking this picture. #sfbayarea

San Francisco sunset. No filter. #sfbayarea

Friends and family at the Exploratorium. #sfbayarea #sarahjagger (Sarah, you get your own hashtag!)

My current roadtrip snack. I ate like, 3 cartons in 2 days. (And then I got home to Rexburg, and they were 5 cartons for $5, so now they've become my every day snack.)

Listening to the Beatles and driving through the southern Utah desert at dusk. No filter.

Traditional family jam session with Grandpa Fraughton before heading back to Rexburg.

How all of us felt by the end of the trip.

Mini dust storm outside of Pocatello. Weird.

Home again! Jacob is really really handsome. This is currently the wallpaper on my phone because Jacob is really handsome.


Good times, Jacob, Dave and Cam. Also Allison, Sarah, various grandparents and parents. It was awesome to see you all. Let's do this again sometime.

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California via Instagram