"It's a sin to kill a mockingbird."

"To Kill A Mockingbird" opens in a week and a half. And I'm loving every minute of rehearsal, even though there are moments that are emotionally draining just to watch. I've been doing something I've called "daily doses o' dramaturgy," where I research some aspect of 1935 or Alabama or the world of the play, and post about it on our private Facebook page. (Yes, yes, my nerdiness is well-established.) I'd do this research anyway, just for myself, so I might as well share what I find.

And something I sort of knew, but didn't quite fully comprehend, was how much this fear of a black man raping a white woman was a part of the American psyche. It was (and sometimes still is) everywhere. I started researching a few examples for my "daily dose o' dramaturgy," and it's been overwhelming.

For those unfamiliar with the story of "To Kill A Mockingbird," it takes place in a small Alabama town called Maycomb in 1935. A poor white woman, Mayella Ewell, has accused Tom Robinson, a Black man, of rape. The lawyer Atticus Finch defends Tom Robinson, even though most of the town assumes he's guilty. During the trial, Tom tells his experience, and it becomes clear that Mayella Ewell tried to seduce him, and when he rejected her advances, she accused him of rape.

I was going to share some of my research with just the "To Kill A Mockingbird" cast and crew, but it just...felt too important to keep there. I waited and waited and waited to post it, because it’s just so relentless. It’s heavy and wrong and offensive and hard to read and I hated researching the details of these cases and stories.

I originally just intended to talk about the film "Birth of a Nation" and the founding of the KKK. But my research led me into this awful rabbit hole of fact after fact after fact. White people have feared that Black men will rape "their" women for centuries in America. That unfounded--COMPLETELY UNFOUNDED--fear has been the shaky foundation of so many riots, so many crimes, so many tragedies. (The real danger has statistically always been white men sexually assaulting Black women.) There are whole books written about this idea. But here are just some of the things I found. Here are some of the plot points on the timeline that led to Mayella Ewell accusing Tom Robinson of raping her, confident that everyone would assume his guilt:

The 1765 Index to the Laws of Maryland has one entry for laws surrounding rape. It reads “RAPE: See Negroes.”

From 1812 – 1965, rape was a capital offense in Alabama. During this time, the state put 72 men to death for the crime of rape. Dozens of others were hanged or sent to the electric chair for unspecified crimes. All but 3 of them were Black. 

The word “rapist” wasn’t used in America until the late 1800s. The first recorded use was in a newspaper article, which referred to a “n****r rapist.”

In 1900, Congressman Benjamin Tillman stated on the Senate floor that “We have never believed [the Black man] to be equal to the white man, and we will not submit to his gratifying his lust on our wives and daughters without lynching him.”

In 1914, “experts” at Congressional hearings on drug use claimed that “most of the attacks upon white women of the South are the direct result of a cocaine-crazed Negro brain.”

In 1915, the film "Birth of a Nation" portrayed Black folks as incapable of being civilized, and as animals who lived by instinct. One famous scene shows a former slave sexually (and literally) pursuing a white woman, eventually leading to her death. The film inspired a re-birth of the Ku Klux Klan (which was basically obsolete at the time). The current Klan imagery was adopted directly from the film. 

The 1917 pamphlet “ABC of the Invisible Empire” listed one of the main goals of the KKK as “to shield the sanctity of the home and the chastity of womanhood.”

In 1921, a white mob incited a riot in Tulsa, Oklahoma, after 19-year-old Black man Dick Rowland was accused of raping a white female elevator operator. The riot destroyed more than 35 city blocks, and left 300 people dead. The claim of rape was unsubstantiated.

In 1923, a white mob destroyed almost the entire community of Rosewood, Florida, which was mostly Black, in response to a rumor that a white woman in a nearby town had been raped by an unknown Black man. At least 8 people were killed, 6 of them Black. During the massacre, two Black women were raped and then strangled to death by white men.

In 1931, 9 Black teenagers were accused of raping two white women on a train in Scottsboro, Alabama. All but 12-year-old Roy Wright were convicted of rape and sentenced to death, despite a lack of evidence. Their story includes rushed trials, all-white juries, and poor legal representation. The case was appealed several times, and charges were finally dropped for 4 of the 9 defendants. All but two served prison sentences. They were threatened by a lynch mob while waiting in jail for trial.

In 1934, "To Kill A Mockingbird" author Harper Lee's hometown of Monroeville, Alabama put a Black man on trial for raping a white woman. There was no hard evidence and witness testimony was unreliable, but Walter Lett was convicted and sentenced to death. Eventually, he was pardoned, but by that time, he had spent so long on death row that he suffered insanity. He died in an Alabama hospital in 1937.

And it didn’t stop in 1935, the year that "To Kill A Mockingbird" takes place.

In 1955, 14-year-old Emmett Till was falsely accused of flirting with a white woman. The woman’s husband and brother brutally beat and mutilated the teenage boy before shooting him and sinking his body in the Tallahatchie River. The white men who murdered Emmett were acquitted by a jury of their peers. A year later (protected by double jeopardy), they openly admitted that they had murdered Till.

In 1989, five Black and Latino teenagers were accused of raping a white woman in Central Park. Each of them was convicted, despite a lack of evidence, and served time in prison. They were exonerated by DNA evidence in 2002. At the time of the crimes, $85,000 worth of full-page advertisements in four major New York City newspapers called for the death penalty to be used on all five of the accused teenagers, regardless of the facts of the case. The ads were written and paid for by then-real estate mogul, Donald Trump. 

And on June 17, 2015, 21-year-old Dylann Roof entered a church in Charleston, South Carolina, and told its Black congregation, “You rape our women. You’re taking over our country. You have to go.” He shot and killed 9 people soon afterwards.

THIS is why we have to keep reading "To Kill A Mockingbird." This is why we have to keep doing this play, and telling these stories. I'm a white girl who has no actual idea what it's like to be a Black man in America. My own privilege means that I'm sometimes clumsy and ignorant when it comes to issues of race. In some ways, this isn't my story to write. But I don't want to ignore it either. I can't ignore it. I'm so grateful to be a part of this production of "To Kill A Mockingbird." When Tom Robinson sits onstage and speaks, he is sitting there on behalf of all of the men and women who can speak no longer. He's sitting there for the men and women killed by Dylann Roof. For the Black folks in Rosewood, Florida. For the Scottsboro boys. For Walter Lett and Dick Rowland and Emmett Till and Darryl Hunt and Thomas McGowen.

Mockingbirds are still flying among us, and we're still shooting them.

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"It's a sin to kill a mockingbird."

A Letter to the Upcoming Generation, inspired by a recently completed MFA class called "The Rock Star Poets and Writers"

Dear teenagers of 2016:

If I were truly an authentic, this letter would be handwritten, in a red spiral notebook, Kurt Cobain style. I’d write it in crayon, like Jack White did his receipts when he worked cutting fabric and stapling around the corners of sofas. Or on hotel stationary like I was Bob Dylan and it was 1961 and I was playing shows in Greenwich Village.

But I'm lazy and this is a blog, so typed it is.

In true “Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul” style, here’s my advice for you upcoming poets and rock stars.

1. Find inspiration everywhere.
Read Shakespeare, and Rimbaud, and Dylan Thomas, and Jack Kerouac. Listen to Iron Maiden, and Pete Seeger, and David Bowie, and Prince. Let all of their words and melodies tumble around inside of you. Let yourself re-tell their stories. Try on their style. Write a poem in the cosmic style of Walt Whitman. Try writing a beat poem and perform it like Allen Ginsberg. Turn on Nirvana, and scribble your thoughts as it plays in the background. It’s like visiting a thrift store…everything has already been used, but you can try things on for size, make alterations, create new combinations. Some things will fit you better than others. But you might discover that something unexpected looks amazing on you. Something that, on the hanger, doesn’t seem to be your “thing.” But it could be that you ROCK those billowy sleeves. Just try things on. Impersonate those who have come before you. You’ll find your own style eventually.
Pete Seeger wrote a song based on verses from Ecclesiastes. Simon and Garfunkel wrote a song based on the poem “Richard Cory” by Edward Arlington Robinson. But you could take more indirect inspiration as well. Lana Del Rey drew inspiration from Walt Whitman’s “I Sing the Body Electric,” and wrote a song playing with some similar themes and images. Paul Westerberg’s song “Crackle and Drag” is inspired by Sylvia Plath’s poem “Edge.” You could “translate” a poem by just adding music, or draw your inspiration from one or two lines.

2. Your poetic voice can support the status quo, question it, or be a part of the human machine that destroys it.
Your words can be Woody Guthrie’s guitar…the “machine that kills fascists.” Don’t feel like you have to stifle your rage. Write about black lives in America. Write about college rape culture. Write about abortion, and Wall Street corruption, and redlining, and the public school system, and the shitty way the United States treats Native Americans. Poetry is not limited to noiseless patient spiders and suicide. Let your anger flow from your spine into your pen. Scratch deep into the paper. Shout about the way things are until they change.
Sisters of Mercy wrote “Dominion/Mother Russia” about the Cold War. Siouxie Soux adapted Abel Meeropol’s “Strange Fruit,” a harsh look at the treatment of black Americans in the South. Plenty of these artists also wrote about love and breakups and the usual pop topics. And that’s fine. But you don’t have to limit yourself to those topics.

3. Don’t let stereotypes destroy your creativity.
You don’t have to be Hemingway, piling up empty bottles. You don’t have to open your heart or legs to violent passion like Rimbaud. You don’t have to make a permanent stop in the woods on a snowy evening like Cobain or Plath or Sexton. Beware the harsh light of fame. Despite the viciousness of the artistic life, fame is far more destructive. You set the terms. Guard the terms of your fame fiercely.
I think Kurt Cobain both wanted and didn’t want fame. I think he wanted to be known and loved, but didn’t want to be the symbol of his generation. (Same with Bob Dylan.) It can be easy to get caught up in those tensions, but you don’t have to. Just follow your voice, even if it leads you away from the spotlight. Your work is more important than your fame.

4. On a practical note, be intentional about stanza length in your work.
Many poets insert line breaks where they “feel” them in the content, where there’s a natural pause. (And by “many poets,” I mean me, specifically. I’ve been writing poetry consistently since 1998, and this is the first time I’ve considered that even in free form poetry, line breaks make a difference.) This has an effect both visually and rhythmically, one that you may not intend. There is something powerful in being consistent in stanza length. At the very least, be intentional. If there is no pattern to stanza length, make sure you have a good reason for it. Is the work supposed to be disjointed and chaotic? Or tidy and clean? Don’t let line breaks distract from the message and meaning of your poem. Stanza length is another tool in your poetry writing kit…it’s like clothing. You’re saying something about yourself, whether you intend to or not. If you ignore your clothing, you’re sending the message that you don’t care. Same with stanza length.

5. Cut the extraneous stuff.
Listen. I know. These are darlings and it’s hard to kill them. This is the lesson that I have to relearn over and over and over again. Maybe you’re used to prose poetry, or maybe you just make pets of pretty, docile words. As an exercise, try this: Write a poem, then let it sit for 24 – 48 hours. Don’t even look at it. Don’t re-read it, don’t leave it out where it can be glanced at. Then go back and cut it by a third. Ask yourself: “If an editor demanded a word count limit that’s less than what I have, what would I keep?” Trim until the poem is tidy. Condense meaning until it’s compact and hard and dense. Say what you need to, and then get out of there.

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A Letter to the Upcoming Generation, inspired by a recently completed MFA class called "The Rock Star Poets and Writers"

Things To Do While 31

Hey, I had a birthday recently! And I've been doing a lot of thinking about my birthday goals. I think I want to continue this tradition, but I think I'm going to do 3 goals per year. The purpose of having these yearly goals is to help me move towards my mountains, and to do things I've always (or just lately) wanted to do and probably won't do unless it's on a list somewhere. But I don't want these things to DISTRACT me from other important progress. So we'll limit the list to 3 goals.

And I like doing things on my birthday instead of New Year's--New Year's doesn't feel like a natural time to make goals. It's in the dead of winter, in the middle of this time of hibernation. I like making my goals in September, as summer is ending, and I start to prepare the house for colder weather and come up with projects to motivate me when the days are shorter. Plus, I'm a rebel/hipster and I don't want to do New Year's Goals because EVERYONE does New Year's goals.

So here are my Things To Do While 31!

1. Read 1 script per month 
I want to write more scripts, and I'm a big believer that you should read the types of things you want to write. And I know there are thousands (TENS OF THOUSANDS) of amazing scripts out there that I just haven't gotten to yet. I want to have read 12 new scripts by the time I'm 32. They can be TV episodes, screenplays, plays, etc.

2. Write a spec script
I have zero intention of publishing or sending out said spec script. I consider it purely an exercise in writing. It's a good way to start--it's kind of like fan fiction. The characters, world, and format already exist...I'm just creating a different story. I'm bowling with the gutter bumpers up, so to speak. I'm thinking "The X-Files"? I'll keep you posted.

3. Complete 1 painting
I've had this on my list before, and I've had a few different ideas for paintings floating around in my head lately. I think I'd like to make one of them a reality this year.

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Things To Do While 31

Things to Look Forward To

Hey, guess what? It's almost spring! I can feel it. I know we've still got a few weeks of cold left, but March is barreling towards us, and I await her with open arms. But aside from spring, there are a handful of things that are making life exciting right now. It's especially nice to have all of these sunny things to look forward to after the post-show doldrums of Beau Jest ending. Here's what's on the docket for the next few months:

In a few hours, I'm getting on a plane to meet my sister and her girlfriend, and my mom and stepdad in southern California. We'll spend two days running around Disneyland, and I can't wait. My sister and I have been texting each other countdowns to this day for the last month and a half.

Then, the following weekend, Jacob and I and a few friends will be heading up to Rexburg to see our incredibly talented friends and family perform in BYU-Idaho's production of Antigone. It's been an awesome experience for those involved, and I'm excited to see the final product. Oh, and that weekend, we also get to watch the Oscars. And you know how much I love the Oscars.

And THEN, the weekend after THAT, Jacob and I are going to New York City for a whirlwind weekend. Jacob made it to final callbacks for The New School (did I mention he's auditioning for grad schools?), and even though we're not sure how we could afford moving to New York, it seems foolish to throw away this chance, so he's going. And since I was free, I decided to go with him. I'm planning on spending every day trying to see shows (lottery for Hamilton--I wanna be in the room where it happens), and possibly wandering the Met, while Jacob auditions.

Sometime in the spring, I'll be going to Germany to visit Dad and Mary. I had a big Europe tour planned, but I don't think the timing is right. I may try to make a weekend trip to Paris, but my epic two-week excursion will have to wait.

And when I return from Germany, it will be time (appropriately enough) to begin rehearsals for Cabaret. I just got cast in Utah Repertory Theatre's upcoming production. I'll be playing Frenchie, one of the Kit Kat Club performers. I haven't played such a dance heavy role in about ten years, and I'm still sore from call-backs on Sunday. But I've got until June to get my rear in gear, and I'm THRILLED to be doing this show. I'll be reuniting with some old friends, and I'm excited to work with some new ones. The show runs from mid-August to early September, if ya wanna come! (Although, fair warning, this is not a Hale-Theatre-Family-Style-Entertainment show. But more details on why I decided to do this show anyway forthcoming.)

What are you looking forward to nowadays?

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Things to Look Forward To

Current obsessions

Grad school has begun, and the Hale has added a few matinees of Beau Jest, so suddenly I find myself with fewer hours per week than I'm used to. But that's okay. I'm moving towards that mountain. And there are a few things making that climb awesome. Here are some of the things I've been digging lately:

The X-Files
I already talked a little about my love for the X-Files, but my love has deepened enough that I recently bought a "I Want to Believe" sticker to put on my laptop. There are so many mysteries! Who is Cancer Man? How much does Alex Krycek know? Will Mulder's sister ever be found? I'm only on the beginning of season 4, though, so no spoilers.

Hamilton
People have been telling me about Hamilton for months, and I haven't believed them. A musical about founding father Alexander Hamilton? A RAP/HIP HOP musical about Alexander Hamilton?! There's no way it could work. But it does. It does so much. I finally bought the soundtrack after a long discussion in the greenroom at the Hale, and I've been listening to almost nothing else for the last week. How is it so good!? It's so good.

The Oscars
I love the Oscars deeply. I often hear people criticize the Oscars, saying it's all pageantry. But I really believe it's more than that. Sure, there's an element of pageantry. But I think everyone involved in the Oscars knows that the pageantry is kind of a game. Of course the red carpet isn't real life. At its heart, the Academy Awards are a celebration of film and filmmaking. It's a recognition of the extraordinary work being done in the industry. It's actors and directors and designers coming together to celebrate the beauty of the work they get to do, and the way that it can change lives. That's beautiful to me, and I look forward to watching it every year.
Notably, I don't have cable, and the Oscars are not easy to find live online. I have been invited to "Oscar parties" on multiple occasions, and I always hate them. Because so far, no one I've met loves the Oscars as much as I do, and when I watch the Oscars with other people, they talk and occasionally heckle and are generally disrespectful of the sacred nature of the Oscar viewing experience. So please, take no offense if I decline an invitation to your Oscar party. I love you, but I'm probably going to rent a hotel room on that Sunday night and eat chocolate and watch the Oscars in my underwear, reverently and joyfully.

Beau Jest
This blog has been an endless stream of Beau Jestery for the last few months, but I just can't believe I get to do this for a whole month. With these amazing people! With this amazing script! At this amazing theatre! (With this amazing wig!) Almost every night, there's at least one golden moment onstage, one of those moments when you're bumping up against that column of light, or standing right in it. And it's this gift, and my heart is going to burst with the thank you's I'm carrying.



Grad School
I haven't been a student for 4 years, and it's sort of surreal to try to become one again. In the back of my mind, I feel vaguely like I'm just pretending--I'm not really a grad student. But my Blackboard account would say otherwise. I've done some amazing reading lately (Jo Ann Beard's "The Fourth State of Matter"?! PHENOMENAL), and I'm excited for this degree.







What are you digging nowadays?

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Current obsessions

The Februaries: Two Lists

Blerg.

I've got a bad case of the Februaries tonight. There are various factors at work here.

#1. It's winter. And we all know how I feel about winter. I'm into winter for about two weeks around Christmas, and then I'm over it. It's time for summer to begin again, please. I'd like more hours of daylight and to stand outside without having to wear shoes. Too bad I have like, five months to go still.

#2. I'm not at the theatre tonight. I know, I know, I was just there last night. And I'll be there again tomorrow night. I just love acting so much! And I love working with the wonderful people I work with! And I love telling this story and making people laugh. And after being in rehearsal every night for the last two months, having every other evening at home is jarring. The hours stretch before me like...some depressing thing. (I'm too winter-weary for similes.) I just want to do theatre every night, all the time.

#3. I'm on the very edge of being sick. I'm not quite fully sick. But my head kinda hurts, and my nose is kinda stuffy, and my throat is kinda scratchy, and I kinda have a cough. In my melancholy state, I'm not sure which is worse--being totally sick, or being almost sick. My main thought is that if I was totally sick, I could justify eating unhealthily and laying around all day. As it is, I feel obligated to go about my daily activities, and I just feel vaguely blah as I do so.

Getting sick was probably inevitable. Between tech week and New Year's and Christmas and everything, someone in the cast was bound to get sick. Andy had it a week ago, and then Ben, and now Bryan and I, which means it will eventually get to Todd, and then Becca, and probably Ben again. Ah, the perils of stage kissing.

#4. Did I mention winter yet? It's just such a big factor. When it comes right down to it, a therapeutic light therapy box just isn't the same as a long walk on a summer night. I need a giant greenhouse to wander through, or a bio-dome of eternal summer to live in. The plant parts of me are curling their leaves inward and oh, how I ache with it.


I feel vaguely overwhelmed by the Februaries tonight, so, like Hemingway advised, I'm trying to just "write hard and clear about what hurts."

It seems I write a blog entry like this every winter. There's this one from almost a year ago, where I compared my winter slump to the sound of a wet comforter falling onto the floor. And this one where I named my impulsive coping mechanisms and also listed the things that keep life shimmery enough until spring.

So, in an effort to remind myself of the invincible summer within, here are the things that are shimmering for me lately.

#1) The moments of perfect communion onstage, when something passes between actors and audience and everyone's connected in this beautiful, temporary microcosm. That sounds so so cheesy, but it really is one of the greatest things about theatre.

#2) "Parking Lot Talks" with friends after the show...talking about characters and life and art and friendship while the the cold gathers in clouds around us, until we're shivering too much to talk any more, and I get in my car and drive home filled with gratitude for the people in my life.

#3) How the stars are almost always there to greet me each night, glittering in constellations. Even on cloudy nights when I can't see them, the knowledge that they're still there calms my soul somehow.

#4) Recent shenanigans with family and friends, including meals and Cards Against Humanity and good movies.

#5) This is going to sound silly after the other semi-profound items on this list, but the awesomeness of the X-Files deserves a spot here. I've just discovered the show, and I've been binge-watching it on Netflix for a solid month, in all its mid-90s glory. I have a mild crush on Fox Mulder, and I want to believe, and the truth is out there, and I'm only halfway through Season 3, so hopefully this franchise will last me until spring.


Keep on keeping on, all you summer souls. Our lemonade hearts will thaw soon enough.


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The Februaries: Two Lists

12 Days of Christmas Stuff

Somehow, while rehearsals were going on and I was recovering from NaNoWriMo, a third of December happened. Christmas is in 13 days. So I'm jumpstarting my holiday spirits with some of my favorite Christmas things. And thought I'd share them here! So in no particular order, here are 12 days of Christmas books, stories, albums, and films.


1. Nativity! (film)
Martin Freeman plays a disgruntled elementary school teacher who is asked to put on this year's Nativity play. But can the magic of Christmas restore Mr. Madden's Scrooge-like disdain of the holidays? This is charming and so very British and I love it. ALSO, most of the script was improvised, Christopher Guest-style.

2. The Family Stone (film)
I adore poignant and quirky films about the beautiful imperfection of family. This is the perfect example of that.


3. Love Actually (film)
Oh the greatness of this British film! I love the ensemble nature of this story (these stories?) and the ultimate message that love actually is all around us. (Warning for those interested in warnings: Rated R for language and nudity.)


4. Family Man (film)
Listen. This is one of my favorite films. Ever. I can't help it. It's so sweet and funny and lovely. It captures the beauty and challenge of marriage and family so well.


5. Angela and the Baby Jesus (children's book)
By Frank McCourt
Jacob read this out loud to his family the first year of our marriage, and I've deliberately made it a tradition for him to do so every year. It's hilarious and lovely.


6. A Green and Red Christmas (album) 
By the Muppets
You can't go wrong with the Muppets. Any Christmas song by Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem is a win in my book.


7. My Troubles (A Work in Progress, by Joseph of N--) (short story)
by Jonathan Goldstein
This short story is the last in a collection called "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bible!" It's a reimagining of the Christmas story from Joseph's point of view...human, worried, flawed, hard-working Joseph. I know not everyone will enjoy this story; Joseph is so very human in it, and some readers might feel it's sacrilegious to approach this character this way. That's okay. But I find it so meaningful--it makes it easier for me to connect to the people who lived and died in Jerusalem, to see the story in this realistic, humorous light. Joseph is just a guy, doing the best he can. Here's a small excerpt, just to get an idea of the tone of the story: "So it was pretty soon afterward that I started to worry. The angels must have seen Mary from Heaven and knew she was the right one for the job, but they probably didn't get a very good look at me. While they were all lying around on the clouds mooning over Mary, they probably missed her loudmouth boyfriend in the background griping about his stubbed toe. Who was I to be raising an angel baby? What could I teach a baby of any kind? How to hyperventilate when you're outbid for a carpentry job? How to cry in frustration when your roof caves in? What kid is going to want to hang around with me? All I have to teach him is how to worry. That was an area in which I excelled." 


8. Barenaked for the Holidays  (album)
by The Barenaked Ladies
Hands down, favorite holiday album of all time. Equal parts silly and sincere. And there's some Hannukah thrown in there, as well as Christmas!


9. A Christmas Carol (book/movie/play/musical/etc)
The book. Any version of the movie. Any version of the play. Just the story in general.


10. It's A Wonderful Life (film)
I always sort of forget how fantastic this movie really is. And then I re-watch it and am overwhelmed by its humor and heart.


11. A Very Murray Christmas (film)
A short Netflix original! It's mostly musical numbers, with a loose plot surrounding a failed live television special. I think I'm charmed by this mostly because it's sort of a dream--I want to end up in the hotel Carlyle in New York City during a blizzard on Christmas Eve, singing songs with Bill Murray and Paul Shaffer and David Johansen and Jason Schwartzman and Rashida Jones and Maya Rudolph and Phoenix. (Warning: Some language.)


12. The Bible: Luke, Chapter 2 (book excerpt)
Where it all began. Does anyone else always hear the voices of Charlie Brown characters when they read this story?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

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12 Days of Christmas Stuff

In which I discuss pornography vs. art and make some non-pornography book recommendations

I'm addicted, lately, to romantic novels.

Not romance novels. Romantic novels. Big difference.

This is all subjective, of course. Occasionally, the romantic novels I love do involve some sexuality, but it's a character-driven sexuality that focuses more on the emotional relationship than on specifics of who's doing what to whom. I think one of the distinguishing differences between pornography and art is whether the characters are dynamic and well-developed and 3-dimensional. In pornography, characters are merely stick figures with "parts and passions." Not having fully read any, it seems to me that all romance novels are the same--just in different costumes (you know, Scottish prince, ranch owner, business man, etc). But the novels I'm going to talk about are different. The sexuality isn't the focus of the story. It's merely a small part of it. It's a small part of all the things you feel when you love someone, even if you never "consummate" the relationship, even if nothing sexual ever happens being the two of you.

To draw on an old blog entry:

PORNOGRAPHY
- inspires negative actions towards self and others
- characters are not individuals, but rather perfected "stick figures" with parts and sensations only
- does not attempt to reveal truth or explore the human condition (purpose is strictly arousal)

LITERATURE/ART
- inspires positive actions towards self and others
- characters are individuals, with flaws and conflicts and strengths
- attempts to understand the human experience by exploring some truth (purpose is examining the human experience)

For a more detailed and more articulate version of the muddled point I just tried to make, just go read that blog entry from 2009. And watch John Green defend himself as a non-pornographer in this awesome youtube video. (And try not to be distracted by the fact that he NEVER BLINKS.)

Anyway.

Looking for a romantic YA novel to get lost in? Here are a few recommendations! (This list is actually cloyingly romantic, so you might get a headache or something if you try to read all of these one right after another. But take your pick now and then if you're into this sort of thing.)

Anna and the French Kiss

Stephanie Perkins

OFFICIAL BLURB: Anna is looking forward to her senior year in Atlanta, where she has a great job, a loyal best friend, and a crush on the verge of becoming more. Which is why she is less than thrilled about being shipped off to boarding school in Paris--until she meets Étienne St. Clair. Smart, charming, beautiful, Étienne has it all...including a serious girlfriend.
But in the City of Light, wishes have a way of coming true. Will a year of romantic near-misses end with their long-awaited French kiss?

MY REVIEW: Lovely. Perfect. Delightful. Steamy. Hopelessly gorgeously romantic. That's the best word to describe this book: ROMANTIC. First of all, it filled me with a longing for Paris, and I've never even been there. And Paris is the most romantic city in the world. Second of all, it perfectly captured that exciting romantic tension that makes love such a drug.
But here's the best part about this book: it could so easily have been fluffy teen romance with enough sexuality to appease the hormones of its readers. But it defied that categorization and was full of depth. This book is not just about a girl liking a boy in Paris. It's about families, friendships, bullying, regrets, growing up, finding a home, moving away, liking the wrong people, wanting the right people, and everything else that makes growing up so complicated.
Three cheers for Stephanie Perkins, I say.

Lola and the Boy Next Door

Stephanie Perkins

OFFICIAL BLURB: Budding designer Lola Nolan doesn’t believe in fashion...she believes in costume. The more expressive the outfit--more sparkly, more fun, more wild--the better. But even though Lola’s style is outrageous, she’s a devoted daughter and friend with some big plans for the future. And everything is pretty perfect (right down to her hot rocker boyfriend) until the dreaded Bell twins, Calliope and Cricket, return to the neighborhood.

When Cricket--a gifted inventor--steps out from his twin sister’s shadow and back into Lola’s life, she must finally reconcile a lifetime of feelings for the boy next door

MY REVIEW: I'm such a huge Stephanie Perkins fan. This is called "Anna & The French Kiss #2," but it isn't a continuation of Anna and St. Clair's story. It's the telling of a different story, back home in the SF Bay Area. Anna is co-workers with a girl named Lola, and this is HER story. And it's every bit as thrilling and romantic and frustrating and beautiful as Anna's. Somehow Perkins captures young romance so incredibly well. I love the characters she creates, the real worlds, the genuine situations, and the messy complicated disastrous beauty that is love.

Eleanor and Park

Rainbow Rowell

OFFICIAL BLURB: Two misfits. One extraordinary love.

Eleanor... Red hair, wrong clothes. Standing behind him until he turns his head. Lying beside him until he wakes up. Making everyone else seem drabber and flatter and never good enough...Eleanor.
Park... He knows she'll love a song before he plays it for her. He laughs at her jokes before she ever gets to the punch line. There's a place on his chest, just below his throat, that makes her want to keep promises...Park.
Set over the course of one school year, this is the story of two star-crossed sixteen-year-olds—smart enough to know that first love almost never lasts, but brave and desperate enough to try.

MY REVIEW: Buy me a gun rack Stacey, that's a BOOK. I read this in one sitting, as a reward for finishing NaNoWriMo, and I was simultaneously filled with despair about my own little YA novel and filled with a love of writing that inspired me to make my little novel more. These are beautiful characters and this is a beautiful story. Read it.

Attachments

Rainbow Rowell

OFFICIAL BLURB: "Hi, I'm the guy who reads your e-mail, and also, I love you . . . "
Beth Fremont and Jennifer Scribner-Snyder know that somebody is monitoring their work e-mail. (Everybody in the newsroom knows. It's company policy.) But they can't quite bring themselves to take it seriously. They go on sending each other endless and endlessly hilarious e-mails, discussing every aspect of their personal lives.
Meanwhile, Lincoln O'Neill can't believe this is his job now- reading other people's e-mail. When he applied to be "internet security officer," he pictured himself building firewalls and crushing hackers- not writing up a report every time a sports reporter forwards a dirty joke.
When Lincoln comes across Beth's and Jennifer's messages, he knows he should turn them in. But he can't help being entertained-and captivated-by their stories.
By the time Lincoln realizes he's falling for Beth, it's way too late to introduce himself.
What would he say . . . ?

MY REVIEW: I love Rainbow Rowell. I love everything of hers that I've read. She's so wonderfully articulate. Her writing is simple and honest, and every now and then, she throws this incredibly descriptive sentence or passage in that reminds me that metaphors EXIST. I also love the characters she creates. There's often some sadness to them, which makes the happiness they find all the more meaningful. Well done, Rainbow.

Just One Day

Gayle Forman

OFFICIAL BLURB: Allyson Healey's life is exactly like her suitcase—packed, planned, ordered. Then on the last day of her three-week post-graduation European tour, she meets Willem. A free-spirited, roving actor, Willem is everything she’s not, and when he invites her to abandon her plans and come to Paris with him, Allyson says yes. This uncharacteristic decision leads to a day of risk and romance, liberation and intimacy: 24 hours that will transform Allyson’s life.
A book about love, heartbreak, travel, identity, and the “accidents” of fate, Just One Day shows us how sometimes in order to get found, you first have to get lost. . . and how often the people we are seeking are much closer than we know.

MY REVIEW: So wonderful. This is already a huge source of inspiration to me in my own novel, but it stands on its own as a wonderful bit of writing anyway. Just as romantic as Stephanie Perkins, and full of characters I care about, who are quirky enough to be interesting and ordinary enough to be real.
Here's something interesting. The "one day" of the title is over within the first third of the book. It took me by surprise at first, but that one day is the beginning of a story that is so much bigger than "boy meets girl." I love that.
As a side-note, I've either got to stop reading wonderful books about Paris, or I've got to go to Paris.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Rachel Cohn, David Levithan

OFFICIAL BLURB: It all starts when Nick asks Norah to be his girlfriend for five minutes. He only needs five minutes to avoid his ex-girlfriend, who’s just walked in to his band’s show. With a new guy. And then, with one kiss, Nick and Norah are off on an adventure set against the backdrop of New York City – and smack in the middle of all the joy, anxiety, confusion, and excitement of a first date.

This he said/she said romance told by YA stars Rachel Cohn and David Levithan is a sexy, funny roller coaster of a story about one date over one very long night, with two teenagers, both recovering from broken hearts, who are just trying to figure out who they want to be – and where the next great band is playing.
Told in alternating chapters, teeming with music references, humor, angst, and endearing side characters, this is a love story you’ll wish were your very own. Working together for the first time, Rachel Cohn and David Levithan have combined forces to create a book that is sure to grab readers of all ages and never let them go.

MY REVIEW: Highly enjoyable, and poetic in that prose-y way that I love. (Plenty of swears and sexuality, just as a warning, if you'd prefer to abstain.) There's so much wonderful...HONESTY in this book. I love that.
Favorite quote:
"I mean, where do these words all come from? I sit here on this sidewalk and they just appear to me."
"Maybe they're always there and you just need to live enough life to get them to make sense."

Dash and Lily's Book of Dares

Rachel Cohn, David Levithan

OFFICIAL BLURB: “I’ve left some clues for you.
If you want them, turn the page.
If you don’t, put the book back on the shelf, please.”
So begins the latest whirlwind romance from the bestselling authors of Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist. Lily has left a red notebook full of challenges on a favorite bookstore shelf, waiting for just the right guy to come along and accept its dares. But is Dash that right guy? Or are Dash and Lily only destined to trade dares, dreams, and desires in the notebook they pass back and forth at locations across New York? Could their in-person selves possibly connect as well as their notebook versions? Or will they be a comic mismatch of disastrous proportions?
Rachel Cohn and David Levithan have written a love story that will have readers perusing bookstore shelves, looking and longing for a love (and a red notebook) of their own.

MY REVIEW: Utterly enchanting! I've read "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist," so I was excited to pick this one up, and I liked it just as much, if not more so. It managed to capture the excitement and uncertainty and magic and terror and joy of love. And one of the best parts about his book is that the characters are ordinary. Well, they're extraordinary in the sense that EVERYONE is a little bit extraordinary, but I couldn't pick Dash or Lily out of a lineup of typical New York teenagers. And I like that. Ordinary people often have extraordinary stories. It's not that Dash and Lily are BORING...it's the opposite. They're interesting because they are so average.
Also, I like that gay characters are present and it's not even a thing.
I'd love to hear more about Rachel Cohn and David Levithan's process in co-writing. Because it's created some great stuff.

The Fault in Our Stars

John Green

OFFICIAL BLURB: Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel's story is about to be completely rewritten.

MY REVIEW: I'm in love with John Green's writing. Part of the power of this book is its departure from his usual formula. What John Green does in "The Fault in Our Stars" is address the fundamental question of "Is the risk of a relationship worth the reward?" and then raises the stakes by like a billion. Loveable characters, beautiful prose, moments that crack your heart open and moments that you can't stop smiling about. This is one of those rare books that has the power to tear you up (just a little) and then put you back together again, a little braver and a little stronger than you were before.

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In which I discuss pornography vs. art and make some non-pornography book recommendations

The report and a new list.

A few years ago, my BFF Carrie started doing this thing..."25 Things to Do While 25," etc. I stole her idea and have really liked it, so I'm continuing. We've both had to cut the list a little short as we've gotten older, since life would get more and more overwhelmingly full as the years went on, but I still like the idea. So I'm continuing it! But first, a report on this last year!

SEPTEMBER 8, 2013: 7 done, 2 in progress, 6 incomplete

1. Do an street art installation of some kind. Rules: Must be impermanent! No damage to property allowed.
I'm gonna count this. Not exactly a "street art installation," but it was fun and whimsical and public. And no damage to property. 

2. Self-publish a book of poetry and sell it (online, local stores, etc.).
DONE! Officially available for purchase as of January 26th. You can buy your copy here. 

3. Complete the T-shirt quilt project that's been languishing in various closets for over ten years.
It's still languishing. 

4. Become a certified secondary school teacher and receive my Bachelor's degree.
DONE! Although I still haven't actually seen a physical Bachelor's degree, so it doesn't feel real. I have my teacher's certification though. 

5. Eliminate red meat from my diet (uuggghhh...I love it so much! I don't even eat that much! Oh, this is going to be hard.)
Ha ha ha!

6. Eliminate the use of non-biodegradable plastic bags (shopping = reusable canvas, trash = biodegradable).
Do you have any idea HOW HARD it is to find biodegradable trash bags? 

7. Learn to juggle. (Shout-out to Carrie Chapman!)
In progress? I can kinda do it, but not consistently. 

8. Travel to a place I've never been before, and be cool about it. (Sometimes I suck at traveling...I get stressed out. I want to live life more stress-free anyway!)
DONE! I'm gonna say our Mediterranean trip was a success...I was relaxed and cool about things the whole time, even when our trip back home took 27 hours. 

9. Do yoga outdoors.
DONE! At the last minute...at 10:30 pm on September 7th, I ran into my inlaws' front yard and did a few brief poses. 

10. Build a bookcase. A sturdy one. One that shall stand for many years. But also be affordable and easily rearranged and transported.
In progress, but will need to be put on hold for a little while. Possibly a few years. Materials for this are expensive, and we need to pay off some debts first. So our books will just sit on the floor, driving me crazy, for a while. 

11. Go on a hike. (I didn't hike AT ALL this past year! How silly!)
DONE! I lived in West Yellowstone all summer, after all. My parents and I hiked the Riverside Trail in August. 

12. Attend a Parson Redheads show.
Nope. But I do get to see Brette in a week at our 10-year high school reunion! 

13. Do the temple work for at least 5 family names.
Nope. But I'm slowly making progress on genealogy. 

14. Complete reading the entire Book of Mormon with Jacob.
DONE! Finished on December 30th! We started reading roughly a year ago--right before we moved into our new place, our home teacher challenged us to read the entire Book of Mormon over the next year, and we're pleased to say we've done it.

15. Go on a spontaneous road trip.
Nope. Partly because the best time to do this is the summer, and we couldn't exactly leave the Playmill. 

(I have a bucket list, too. Wanna see it? Click here.)

Not too bad. I think 15 things is a little much, so we're cutting it down a little. And I'm totally stealing Carrie's number of things. It was kind of hard to come up with 8 things, just because Jacob and I aren't really sure what the next year holds for us, but here are the goals! A lot of them are financial, but more on that later, I think.

1. Get $1000 in savings. 
A lot of money management programs recommend getting money into savings before you try to pay off debts. It seems counter-intuitive, but this savings fund is for emergencies, and there will ALWAYS be emergencies. This way, when you begin to pay off debts in earnest, you won't be financially "interrupted" by needing to pay for a new pair of glasses, or fixing the car or something. (Not that we have a car...)

2. Pay off all credit card debt. 
We've got a few thousand in credit card debt right now, which isn't too bad, but we'd love to be credit-card debt-free by September 8, 2014.

3. Pay off five student loans completely. 
I've got like, 14 of them, some larger than others. I was going to specify an amount, but I like the idea of just paying five student loans off. Bam. Gone.

4. Go an entire month without paying for eating out once. 
Eating out is one of my biggest weaknesses, and I'd like to slow down. And if I want to pay off debt, I'll have to. Notice, however, I just said without "paying" for eating out. If someone else wants to take me out to eat, that doesn't count. Really, we won't be able to afford eating out at all, but sometimes you get weak, and having this goal will be fun motivation.

5. Recover a chair. 
Or make a chair cover. They're kind of the same thing, but one involves fewer staple guns.

6. Face a fear. 
This is a hard one to measure, and I have a few in mind, but it's something I want to do. I originally wanted to "overcome a fear," but that's a lot of pressure to put on yourself within just a year, and how do you know when you've actually "overcome" it? So I'll just face one down this year, and if I also "overcome" it, more power to me.

7. Do a paid voiceover, television, or film gig. 
The time has come, people. I've done plenty of live theatre, and it's time to expand my horizons a bit more.

8. Do a "photo-a-day" or "video-a-day" project to document one month of my life. 
Maybe it's a little self-centered, but it's always seemed like a cool project. So I'll do it.

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The report and a new list.

Done it again. Weeks 8 - 9.

We did it! We opened all the shows! Which is why I'm combining weeks 8 and 9 in my Playmill Chronicles. It's been NUTS. Between rehearsals, the Playmill reunion, and double shows starting, life has been pretty hectic. Today, we had the opportunity to sleep until 10 am, and I thought to myself, "That's not long enough."  I'm grateful I'm in the box office tonight--I get a break! These cast members who are in all three shows are CHAMPS.

But with the hectic-ness come lots of highlights! Here are the beautiful memories from the last two weeks:

Jerry and my husband wrestling in the theatre after a show. Jerry's so big, and an ex-marine, and an ex-martial arts teacher. And Jacob's so small and...giggly. It was so much fun to watch.

Heidi's birthday!!!
We spent the morning putting up posters in Bozeman, and then we all met at the Bozeman Hot Springs for swimming. A handful of us started playing water volleyball, which was less actual volleyball and more just volleying. We tried to get as many volleys as we could, and it took us at least and hour to break 100. BUT WE DID IT. (We would have done it sooner, but we got to 99, and Joe frickin' Galati volleyed the ball way the heck out to the middle of the pool ON PURPOSE, and then we all tackled him.) Dinner at Johnny Carino's afterwards was awesome, and then I drove home with Anya, who plays Millie in our cast. I think that drive was just what both of us needed. We had a great talk during the 2-hour drive, about everything from theatre to relationships. She's an awesome person and I'm so honored to call her my friend.

When someone straight up smoked weed in the men’s bathroom during intermission of the 8:30 Fiddler show. One of the boys walked in and was OVERWHELMED by the smell. I thought everyone was exaggerating, but then I walked in just to see, and yeah, that was weed. (Expensive weed, according to the converts in our cast.)

During "Fiddler on the Roof," when my husband accidentally entered early and showed up in the aisle while Eliza sang the line, "I'll bring the groom, slender and pale." Jacob plays the 102-year-old Rabbi.

A woman in the audience rolling up her program and swatting Tanner with it during the wolf chase scene in "Beauty and the Beast."

How Jacob Squire and I have ganged up on Amanda on some Beauty nights. (So far, it's actually only been 1 Beauty night, but it's Beauty right now and anything can happen.) She's dressed as a wardrobe, and can't do much to defend herself. Which is simultaneously real mean and real fun.

How Taylor and I had a whole night of awkward hand grabbing. I don't even know how it started or why it happened.

That time I was doing Squire's wig while sitting in Section C and the light above our heads shorted out and sparks rained down on us.

Rehearsal for Seven Brides when errrrbody was naked. Not TOTALLY naked, but there are a lot of quick changes backstage, and there is that "Going Courtin" scene where all the boys are just wearing blankets. I kept walking backstage and finding half-undressed people. Oh well. There are no boundaries in theatre.

Horseback riding again on Sunday! This time I went with Jacob S, Sydney, Stacey, Amanda, and Jerry. I rode the same horse as last time, but on a different trail. I really really really love horseback riding. My knees don't love it, but I sure do.

The face-swipe game. It kind of started with Jacob S and I before the dream song in "Fiddler," because I have cheesecloth on my face and can't see, so he started just swiping my face from brow to chin. But it kind of escalated to involving the rest of the cast. Okay, so really it was Jacob S, Jerry and I attacking everyone else. And each other. I'm sure we're starting to annoy people, but it's such a fun game.

Jacob S's "tassel dance" when he's wearing the buckskin costume in Seven Brides. I can't really describe the dance, but he's got fringe/tassels all along the arms, chest, and legs of his costume. And sometimes he dances. 

Retroactively, when Justin fell in his Cogsworth costume during "Beauty and the Beast." This actually happened a few weeks ago, but I just heard about it recently. Dave was exiting in front of him, and all of a sudden heard a smack. Justin had fallen right down onto his face. But the thing is he's dressed like a CLOCK. So once he's down, he can't get back up without help. Unfortunately, the one person (Dave) close by who could help him was dressed like a candelabra, complete with candles for hands, so he couldn't help. So Dave said he just heard "Smack.....scrraaaape....smack....scrrraaaaaape...." as Justin used his arms to haul himself offstage. Like a turtle. As soon as he was through the curtains, he reached his arms up and was rescued. We knew it had to happen at some point during the summer.

Speaking of falling, Sydney fell during "Human Again." It was awesome.

When I retrieved a box of water bottles from the attic crawl space. I know that sounds simple, but it was during a show and I was wearing heels and a long skirt and not carrying a flashlight and I haven't been up there in six years. During "Seven Brides," Jake asked me if I could get a box of water bottles, and I said, "Sure." As soon as I got upstairs, I realized it might be difficult, so I straight up tucked my long skirt into my "spankies" (spandex boy shorts that are necessary for all summer stock theatre*). But let me explain something about the attic crawl space. It's RIGHT above the stage, with two holes centerstage to be used for entrances and exits of people and scenery. But most of the ceiling above the stage is just sheet rock, so you can only walk on the board that goes down the center, or you'll fall through the ceiling. The board is about a foot wide? Maybe less? This is what it looks like...that board down the middle is the only place you can walk. Those beams cross at about four feet above the board, so you have to crouch.

Anyway, the water bottles were down at the END of the attic crawl space, so I walked, ducking and holding onto beams for balance, in almost total darkness, while the show went on below me. AND I WAS WEARING HEELS. When I finally got to the water bottles, I heaved a sigh of relief. Then I realized I had to go back. Carrying a 3-foot wide, 3-foot tall, 3-foot long cardboard box. I think it took me about five minutes to make it back, but I did it. The task really isn't that crazy under normal circumstances, but in heels, in the dark, during a show, with a long skirt tucked into spankies, it's a different story.

The "show" that Jerry and Jacob S did during "Seven Brides" backstage. I was sitting in one of the stalls (set storage under the seats in the back hallway), with the curtains open just a tiny bit. I can't remember which one of them walked by, or how the show started, but one of them did something in that space between the curtains, then gestured to the side and said, "Everything I learned, I learned from this man." Then the other one appeared in the space behind the curtain and took a bow. Then he gestured to the side and said, "And I have this man to thank." Then the other would appear. Etc. There was also a bit with some running.

Aaaand as per tradition, there was one trip to the emergency room before all three shows are open. Technically, it was right before the 8:30 show of "Seven Brides," but it was still opening night. Our stage manager, Stacey, and Mason ran into each other at a backstage curtain, and his forehead hit her nose at high speed. She flew backwards, laughing, and then realized she was bleeding. Roger took her to the bathroom to clean her up, and at one point, asked her to take the paper towel off her face so he could assess the damage. He didn't tell her at the time, but the second she removed the paper towel, a steady stream of blood SHOT from the cut at the top of her nose. But Roger calmly said, "Okay, just put pressure back on it." Luckily, one of the past Playmill cast members in the audience is now a doctor, so we called him in to take a look. The good Dr. Hammar said it probably wasn't broken, but would maybe need a stitch or two. So one stitch and a bit of glue later, Stacey is ship shape. She's not even bruised. She just happened to cut her nose open RIGHT at a vein.

And of course, the Playmill Reunion. But that deserves its own special post.

So here's to ALL THREE SHOWS BEING OPEN! Time to sleep in, play during the day (and occasionally work box office), and do double shows each night!

* Sometime, I should do a blog post about the items necessary for summer stock theatre. Or a long run of any show.

Addendum, 9:09 pm: I wrote this entry during the 6:00 show, and shortly before hitting "publish" on it, I was notified that Mason (the one who also cut his head open on Stacey's face yesterday) took a knee to the temple so hard that he might have a concussion. His nose started bleeding from the knock to his head, and he was laughing about it with Jerry in the bathroom when he suddenly threw up in the sink. When I walked into concessions, Dr. Hammar (thank goodness for that Playmill reunion, right?) was checking his eyes with a flashlight and talking to him. And yep, he's got a concussion. Two blows to the head in 24 hours will do that to ya. The doc said he'll be all right, but he's kind of in shock right now, so he's taking it easy this show. In fact, a few minutes ago, he was slumped against the wall in the boys' dressing room, laughing hysterically to himself. Right now, he's kind of halfway between "tipsy" and "just got home from the dentist."  He just suggested that Gaston "kick him in the nards" during a song instead of punching him, and when we said no, he said, "Fine, I'll just pretend you kicked me in the nards anyway." 

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Done it again. Weeks 8 - 9.

Things to Read

A few friends have asked recently for book recommendations, so I thought I'd make a list and post it here. Most of these are YA books, because those are especially good for summer, somehow. Click on the title of each book to learn more about it. For more recommendations, feel free to check out my Goodreads account. Happy reading!

For giggles
The Whistling Toilets by Randy Powell
Pink by Lili Wilkinson
Purity by Jackson Pearce
Carpe Diem by Autumn Cornwell
The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance by Elna Baker

For thinks
Moloka'i by Alan Brennert
Two Moons in August by Martha Brooks
Fault Line by Janet Tashjian
Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson
Hate List by Jennifer Brown
Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian by Alexie Sherman
Feed by M.T. Anderson

North of Beautiful by Justina Chen

Uglies series by Scott Westerfield

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Things to Read

Playmill week 4

So it occurred to me, dear readers, that these posts might not really be interesting to anyone but those at the Playmill. Someone pointed out recently that these posts are essentially just a list of inside jokes. For which I apologize. I want to be inclusive in my blogging.

HOWEVER, my fellow Playmill folks have enjoyed these posts, and I enjoy writing them and having a record, so I was kinda stumped for awhile about whether or not to continue with them.

So here's my conclusion: I will continue these posts, but...I guess, just don't feel obligated to read them if you're not interested? I know that sounds kind of obvious, but sometimes there's this strange sense of obligation in the blog-world...like, "I HAVE to read and comment on this person's blog or they'll think I don't like them." So I'll just clear things up for you and tell you that my feelings won't be hurt if you don't read/comment on these Playmill posts. Or really anything, for that matter. I'll continue to do other blogs as well about other things that might be interesting. (But no guarantees...I don't wanna put that kind of pressure on myself.)

So with that caveat, here are the Highlights of Week Four!

The first rehearsal with Beauty and the Beast costumes. Nobody knew how to move, and there was one memorable moment when we noticed Justin, who plays Cogsworth, with an expression of grim helplessness on his face. His sweatpants had fallen down around his ankles, and because of the nature of his costume, he couldn't do anything about it.

Staying after rehearsal most nights to help with flats. We've got a lot of them to cover before we open next week, so we've developed a system (kind of). The system seems to involve singing and dancing, as well as using glue and staple guns. And there was also a short dance party afterwards most of the time.

Jacob S doing the bottle-dance in "Fiddler"! It's gonna be so awesome. There will actually be a total of three guys bottle-dancing, but Jacob's been practicing with the greatest determination, and he's getting pretty darn good.

Re-arranging our rehearsal schedule so that we could go see "Iron Man 3" at the movie theatre in town. They only show 1 movie at a time, once per day. I enjoyed the movie more than I though I would.

Sunday afternoon at Luke's cabin! Our sound guy, Luke, invited us all over for a BBQ, so we all headed over to eat, talk, cuddle, play, and nap. Luke gave an awesome devotional about music's power to change lives, and the Merrills told us some of the stories about the Playmill changing lives. Afterwards, we headed down to a river where we fed fish some leftover hamburger buns, then we went to a place where we caught (or attempted to catch) fish with our bare hands. Also, Hannah fell on her butt while trying to jump onto a dock.

Mason tearing a hole in the crotch of his pants, and Heidi fixing it. She accidentally left the needle in, which he discovered an hour or so later. While we were out "fishing" (with our bare hands; see above), Mason walked past Stacey and Jacob S and me with his pants COMPLETELY undone, yelling, "Heidi! She left the freaking needle in the crotch! And it's been poking me in the junk! HEIDI!"

Me mishearing what Jacob said he had to go to the store to buy. He sort of mumbled "condiments," but I definitely heard "condoms." Tanner was present for the miscommunication, and the three of us have been joking about it ever since.

How Tanner is our son. He's been sick this last week, so Jacob and I have been extra parental lately. One of these days we're going to wake up to find him in between us in the bed.

This conversation:
Jacob S - "I can't sleep unless I'm on my stomach."
Jerry - "That's funny, because I can't sleep unless I'm your stomach."

Joe G found a giant teddy bear at Luke's cabin, wearing a moose-themed shirt. A few minutes later, we noticed the teddy bear was wearing a different shirt...Joe had switched his own shirt for the moose-themed one.

Mason's prayer at the BBQ. It was a heartfelt and sincere prayer, and he ended it with, "But most of all, Lord, we just want to thank you for Texas. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." And we all had no choice but to say "amen," which he reminded us of for the next half hour or so.

Also, "Beauty and the Beast" opens on Friday. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

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Playmill week 4

Mini-Library

Last night, I happened to glance over at our bookshelf, and it occurred to me that our current selection of books is a fairly good glimpse into our lives right now. We couldn't bring ALL of our books to West Yellowstone, so Jacob grabbed a handful. Here's what we've got on the shelf:

A Yellowstone National Park guidebook
Audition by Micheal Shurtleff
True and False: Heresy and Common Sense for the Actor by David Mamet
No Acting Please by Eric Morris and Joan Hotchkis
Improvise: Scene from the Inside Out by Mick Napier
Pandolfini's Ultimate Guide to Chess
Beginning Chess Play
The Green Book
The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan
A book on Hume
18th Century Philosophy
a copy of The Koran
The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
The Oedipus Cycle
Lamp at Midnight by Barrie Stavis
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy by John le Carre
1984 by George Orwell
Animal Farm by George Orwell
Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr
Ender's Game and Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card
Dubliners by James Joyce
Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
Christopher Hitchins' autobiography, Hitch-22
Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Lyman Bushman



We're liberal theatre and English majors who like philosophy, religion, and feminism. And chess.

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Mini-Library

The Haves and Have Nots

Things You Are Not Allowed to Have During a Summerstock Theatre Season
Illness of any kind, especially if it gives you a lingering cough/headache
A husband with an illness of any kind (Remember how I can't handle it when my husband is sick because it breaks my heart so much?)

Things You Are Allowed to Have During a Summerstock Theatre Season
A sense of humor
Bruises
Sore muscles
Vitamins
Breakdown(s), if necessary (You gotta get the bad outta your system to let the good back in)

Lots of drinking water

Rainstorms that smell like Oregon

Friends and family

Good Chinese food around the corner

A lot of fun

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The Haves and Have Nots