The Primary Chronicles, Installment One

Today was Jacob and I's first day as TRUE primary teachers! We were called to teach the 5-year-olds in Primary, and last Sunday was technically our first day, but we spent the whole time practicing for the upcoming primary program, so it was more like crowd control than teaching. We also had an activity Saturday morning, rehearsing the program, and it was fun. We've got a big group of kids, and from the limited interaction we've had with them, we adore them already. I want to tell you about them, but in order to protect their identities, I've come up with a few nicknames. Meet the girls first:

Brown Eyes - Quiet, and often in her own little world. Well-behaved, but mostly because she's too busy just observing and thinking to cause any mischief. But she's got a colorful little personality when she does speak up. We also discovered today that she's a creative and talented color-er.

QT Pie - The little darlin' of the group so far. She's usually got a purse and/or a trendy headband and/or jewelry, and all this makes her sound prissy, but she is the exact opposite. Mature and friendly, she's a real sweetheart. She can be a goofball as well, it just takes her a while to warm up. Her unafraid and open heart make her the ring-leader of the girls, and she's the first to offer her hand when walking to and from class.

Miss K - QT Pie's right-hand girl. They can usually make each other giggle, but never really get too disruptive. K can also be pretty goofy, but she's a good friend, just like QT.

Tooey - A little unsure about her new teachers, but she seems sweet. She tends to get antsy sitting for a long time, and usually ends up twirling/standing/twisting/waving just to get her wiggles out. One of the most articulate speakers of the group, she is usually one to speak up and answer a question, and her pronunciation makes her sound precocious, but she's just being her sweet self.

Queen Anne - We just met her today, but she's QT's other right-hand girl. She's probably the quietest of the group, and since we just met her, she's a little unsure about us, but seems to be warming up. She's happiest when giggling with Miss K and QT Pie.

And for the boys:

Kid B - Determined from Day One to despise us, and would downright glowered whenever we made eye contact for the first little while. But he's decided that we're okay now, and he's the catalyst for much hilarity. He's got a lot of energy, and sometimes it's hard to get him to sit still. He's not TRYING to be bad, he just doesn't see the point of reverence. But we're getting there.

J Town - Pretty quiet and shy, so we still don't know him very well yet, but he seems like a good kid. Well-behaved, and eager to help. He prefers to watch from the sidelines, and sometimes dislikes the insanity of being a part of a big, rowdy group. But he listens well and is a great balancing force to our class.

D Dog - A little shy, but still your fun-loving 5-year-old. On the first day we were in Primary, he got a little too enthusiastic jumping up to sing "Follow the Prophet," smacked his face on the chair in front of him, and cut open his gums. But with a hug, a few swishes of water, and a moist paper towel, he recovered well.

Ace - Still getting to know him as well. I'm really grateful that I'm taking a class on Exceptional Students and Learning Disabilities right now, because it's helping me recognize and deal with any difficulties. I think Ace might have some hearing deficiencies, based on the way he talks. He can be hard to understand, but he always cheerfully contributes, whether you understand him or not. It takes him a little while to warm up, but once he's there, he has a blast.

Of course, working with 5-year-olds has some pretty memorable moments. Exhibit A:

Last week, Kid B noticed that a boy sitting in front of us had pants that were riding a little low. Kid B's got some trouble with his l's and r's (they're all w's), and he turned to me and said "Guess what?" (the way he starts all his stories) "His pants awe fawing down and he isn't awaew (aware)."

Also, Saturday, I was sitting next to Brown Eyes on the stand as we practiced for the Primary Program, and we had the following interaction:
Brown Eyes - (pointing to a few people leaving the chapel) Where are those guys going?
Me - I don't know. Maybe they're going to the bathroom.
Brown Eyes - (with a sudden look of surprise and concern) I have to go to the bathroom!
Me - Can you hold it?
Brown Eyes - (vigorous head shake) Uh-uh.
Me - Okay, let's go!
It was as if she didn't realize that she had to go to the bathroom until the subject was brought up, and then it was a desperate situation.

Today's primary program went splendidly, by the way. All the kids remembered their parts, and Brown Eyes and Kid B effectively destroyed the hearing of half the congregation with their enthusiasm at the microphone.

The other funny thing that happened to day was during Closing Exercises. The kids did well in sacrament meeting, so we all got to sit on the floor and eat snacks and color for the last half of Primary. In his short trips to get a different colored crayon, Kid B was stomping around like Godzilla. He was making noises too, but because his mouth was full of food most of the time, I didn't realize what he was saying for a few minutes. Then I finally made out, with a Godzilla stomp on each syllable, in a deep and throaty Godzilla voice: "I can fowwow Deejus Cwist!" ("I can follow Jesus Christ!")

At least he's enthusiastic about it.

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The Primary Chronicles, Installment One