Thursday, January 04, 2007

"A life lived in fear is a life half-lived."

Thursday night, Rexburg, Idaho. I have a job. I left the house this morning at 9:30 determined to come home with a job. I returned at 11:00 this morning as a full-time employee of the downtown Taco Bell. Not the classiest job, believe me I know. But it’s close by, good hours and good pay. Goal accomplished.

I also am currently sitting in my dining room and sort of watching Benny and Joon and getting semi-annoyed with the random guy watching. This doesn’t seem to be his kind of movie. Ag Business major, figures. I can’t help but take it a little personally when people don’t share my tastes. Oh well. I resolved this New Year to be less judgmental. I’m starting out by continuing to judge, but finding something positive for every judgment I make. So, I hate it when people feel a need to immaturely criticize movies that they don’t understand, and its even worse when they try to be funny as well. But then again, I tend to criticize the lives of Ag Business majors because I don’t understand them.

So I spent the entire vacation missing my friends, and now that I’m back here with them, I haven’t gone to see a-one. I get scared. I have this ridiculous fear, that’s unfounded most of the time, that either no one really remembers who I am, or that no one actually considers me their friend. Which is stupid. In spite of my ability to be friendly, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m actually pretty shy. I always have been. In my own way. Not shy like in the quintessential way, but when given the choice between seeing people and not seeing them, most of the time I opt for the easy out and choose not seeing them. Silly Liz.

Speaking of silly, I was craving Thai food today, and headed out to the little joint next to the Westwood Theatre to get some. When I arrived, I discovered that it was still closed for the holidays! But I really really wanted Asian food, so after some debate, I headed to Fong’s Chinese Cuisine. I had a vague memory of thinking that it was terrible food, but that was a long time ago. I should have known better than to seek good Chinese food in Rexburg, Idaho, but I was hungry. So I gave it a shot.

It was the most revolting meal I have ever attempted to eat in my life. I ordered fried pork won ton and beef noodles with egg. What arrived was 10 deep fried somethin or others with about 0.25 oz. of pork jerky in each. And a bowl of overcooked spaghetti with canned beef/gravy over the top. And a hard-boiled egg quartered and placed on top. I forgot how unlike Asian food Fong’s is.

Anyway, the point is I’m hungry. I think I’ll go get some grub, and then see if I can’t get my courage up enough to go visit someone.


J-E-N said...

I have the same fear! Especially when I don't see someone for a long time, though I know we're friends, I have this irrational yet very real thought that they'll look at me and be like "wait, who are you, I've never seen you before!" That happened this semester when I visited Rexburg and when people from Rexburg visited me. So bizarre.
Also, I remember sort of liking what I had at Fongs that one time we went, but mostly I remember pretending to light a cigarette with my hip. Remember that other Chinese buffet we went to and gorged ourselves sick? Wait...that might have only been Jenny and Alexis and I. Well, anyhow it happened and I still feel sick thinking about it. Ah, memories.

Baxamus said...

HI LIZ, my bestest and older sister. You! make me miss... you. Yes. I miss you guys, a lot a lot. Chinese sounds good... mainly because i'm fasting... but hey. So from what I hear the plan is that we ARE coming down in February :D yay. So I shall see you then! Shalom my beloved sister.

Willie Z said...

Bah! If you're ever in the area, lemme know. O'else that'd be a shame, 'fyou left without dropping in.