Thursday, August 11, 2005

To echo the theme of a beloved Canadian blogger...

Jen had an awesome post about marriage on her blog today, and it got me really thinking. This entry will be a somewhat eclectic collection of quotes, etc. I totally recommend you read Jen's blog.

Indian Love Poem
Author Unknown
(Disclaimer: Please forgive any political-incorrectness)

Nice night
in June
Stars shine
Big moon.
In park
on bench
with girl
In clinch.
Me say
"Me love"
She coo
Like dove.
Me smart
Me fast
Never let
Chance pass.
"Get hitched,"
Me say
She say
Wedding bells
Ring ring
Settle down
Married life
Happy life.

'Nother night
In June
Stars shine
Big moon.
No happy
No more
Carry baby
Walk floor.
Wife mad
She fuss
Me mad
Me cuss.
Life one
Big spat
Naggy wife
Bawling brat.
Me see
At last--
Me too
Darn fast.

Okay, so that charming little poem dilutes a really complicated issue into black-and-white, which I never like. But it's a fun little poem and still gets my point across.

"'In love' is, by definition and strong preference, an irrational state. It is also temporary, though it can cycle through a long relationship. It is odd that people seek out a period of temporary insanity as the ideal mindset for making a crucial life decision."
--Judith Sills, "How to Stop Looking for Someone Perfect and Find Someone to Love"

Finally, two excerpts from my own journal entries...
On crushes and love:
"I know that when it comes right down to it, I'm an intelligent, reasonable, mature person. Now, I also know that its very likely that I will regret this journal entry later. But at the moment, I've got to be girly and nonsensical and altogether stupid.
First I'd like to say that the heart is a very strange organ. When I was younger, I thought that the whole 'change-your-mind-about-whom-to-direct-your-affections-really-quickly" thing was a purely adolescent phase. And by adolescent I mean something I would grow out of at about age 17. But it seems to affect the almost 20-year-old Liz in exactly the same way.
[This guy]...we never knew eachother or ever hung out until, you know, tonight. He's totally metro, devastatingly good-looking, funny, friendly, and with fabulous thick hair. And great teeth. And nice eyes. And a good complexion. Wait, let me make myself clear...he's certainly a tasty peice of eye-candy, but its MAINLY his genuine personality I'm crushing on."
The boy I described was NOT the boy I'd had a crush on for the last year or so. If I am an average sampling of the 19-year-old female Mormon population, I don't know that many of us are ready for the altar.

On old relationships and bitterness:
"I've learned an interesting lesson recently...if you ever want to be scared out of your mind, read some old journal entries. Particularly ones about old loves. I cannot believe how ready and set on marrying [this guy] I thought I was! That freaks me out. I was so young and foolish! And I KNOW that in the future I'll look back at what I say now and think the same thing. [He's] been on his mission almost a year now. That's so crazy. It's been a year since we broke up. I kind of get angry when I think of [this guy]...I think it has something to do with the fact that I recognize now all of my stupidity and think of all the things I regret now. And since I don't want to be only angry with myself, I have to direct some of it at him. I've just been thinking about it the last few days a lot, trying to look at it more closely and figure it out. I can't tell if I've succeeded at all yet or not."

Okay, I just totally bared my soul to you all, including some of my weaknesses. That's hard and really scary, so no judging! But it was the best way I could think of to express my thoughts.
By the way, lest I give the wrong impression, I am a TOTAL ADVOCATE OF MARRIAGE. But marriage to the right person at the right time, with a healthy dose of realism, cheerfullness, and a willingness to sacrifice and work!
I'm really scared to publish this post...I feel sort of naked doing so, but here goes...


isha said...

love you liz!

J-E-N said...

I love you too! And I feel naked every single time I publish a post, so don't worry. I enjoyed it and it helped what I was trying to say in my blog too. Kudos!

Beckah said...

Oh Liz, you are wonderful and awesome and I can't wait to see you and learn all this about you in person! Love you lots!