Tuesday, April 19, 2005


I’m mad. I’m mad at everyone in the whole world. I’m mad at everyone and everything in the whole world. I’m mad at all the bracelets and the TV’s and the hockey sticks and the carports and the books in the whole world. Oh, wait I forgot to mention this week. I’M ESPECIALLY MAD AT THIS STUPID WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For those who wish to be uplifted, please stop reading now. I need to rant and rave for a moment, and vent all my frustrations in verbal form. I’ll be better eventually, I just need to let this anger out.
First of all, I’m broke. That’s probably the most pressing issue at the moment. I owe a substantially larger amount of money than I make. And there’s no one else to blame, which makes it worse.
Second of all, my room is currently extremely messy, but I can’t put any of it away because it needs to be packed. But I can’t pack anything until Saturday, when I have time and boxes. We have to be out of here by 4pm on Saturday, but we can’t get in to our new place until April 30, so in the meantime, we have to drag all of our stuff over to Greenbrier, store it in the upper lounge, live out of suitcases for a week (which I despise), then move all of our stuff out of the upper lounge and into our apartment.
I try to give myself something to look forward to as a relief, but when I start to think about finally getting all settled into Greenbrier and all that, I get really scared. I really don’t know how the people dynamic is going to work out. I shouldn’t worry, but I can’t help it.
I was up until the wee small hours of the morning just laying in bed and worrying. So on top of everything, I’m going on very little sleep, and the beautiful morning I woke up to was deceiving…it is now raining.
Oh, yeah, and I forgot to mention finals and clean-checks and good-byes. I hate good-byes. Oh, yeah and job-hunting.
As you can imagine, I am ready to tear out my hair. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, change my name, hotwire a van, and drive across the country to where I don’t have to worry about any of this and start all over again. I’ll pawn my jewelry to buy a guitar and sit on city corners and sing songs about social reform and hope that people give me money.
Then I’ll return to civilized life and say that all of it was a social science experiment and then someone will hear about it and give be a $23 billion dollar scholarship for life because of my pioneering efforts in identifying with the under-privileged.
Okay, time to return to reality. I think I’ll shave my legs. That always gives me a clearer, newer outlook on life.


Anonymous said...

I want you to know, that you're not the only one that has problems. But it is nice to know that you're not the only one that has problems, and that there's someone out there who has it worse than you. Horrible thought I know, but it might help...

Bartholimeaux Vegomatia XIII (Kevin) said...

Awww, I'm sorry Lizarooni...I miss you so much, and having just read your endtry, I feel like I have....wait...LOL...i have no clue what I felt i have just anything.

I imagined your voice when reading that, and it made me miss you. Dearly. I report to the em tee sea in 36 days...that is severly too long. But I wish you could sing me songs about social reform. I think that I will call the apartment tonight....I dont care if people are studying...you could use some destress....like detox, but destress.


Willie Z said...

Liz! You should come back to Oregon and we'll all drive a van down to California! Seriously!

Sorry things are not so well. I'll be online forever and ever because of school, so give me a ring. An e-ring. Posthaste.

Willie Z