Tuesday, July 26, 2005

"There's someting on your chin, John." "It is only love for you that sits on the manly chin of Don Juan de Marco, Miss No-Name Actress."


*See note at bottom about this picture

I have a feeling that this entry will be a sort of mental purge. I've got all sorts of ideas swimming around in my head at the moment, but no particular direction in which they all seem to be flowing. And so, I purge. Here goes.
I am startled to admit that I think I'm being taken in by a man who has so far gathered girls by the thousands. I was an active resistance force against the "Johnny Depp is an Attractive Man Movement," but I'm slowly starting to relinquish my position. I apologize to those whom I swore I'd be loyal, but let me explain my position.
I did not and last I checked still do not find "captain Jack Sparrow" attractive at all. However, I started to find Mr. Depp slightly attractive in (creepy enough) "Secret Window." Having watched several of his movies in the last year or so, I am discovering that my feeling for Mr. Depp are thus: If I were to just see him walking down the street, or just glance at a picture of him somewhere, my heart-rate would remain completely normal and I would not be attracted at all. HOWEVER, my being such a lover of theatre and acting, the simple fact that I've never once been unimpressed with a performance of his makes me respect him a great deal. I've always held that he's a fabulous actor, and I'd love to work with him one day. But now, I wonder if I'd like to kiss him one day.
I think "Don Juan de Marco" has something to do with all this. I watched that particular movie last night, starring Mr. Johnny Depp himself, and loved it. There were several instances of fornication (as is unavoidable with "Don Juan"), but they weren't all that explicit, and the whole movie makes fun of quintessential romance movies and novels. Very dry, satirical humor...just my type. The only confusing part is that I've always found the quintessential romantic man somewhat repulsive. I despise the long hair, the open shirt, the white horse. Perhaps it's because all of it was done in parody, but for some reason, "Don Juan" seems to be the turning point for me. In short, I suppose I feel like the movie's Donna Julia..."I never will consent"......"I never will consent"....."I never will consent".....But somehow she managed to consent.
On a similar topic, have you ever been channel-flipping and found yourself watching the shopping channel for like, 15 minutes, before realizing it? That's when you sort of shake your head and say "What am I doing?" and then try to find the history channel to make up for your moment of weakness. For some reason, that happens to me all the time. At least once every time I decide to watch TV. I've developed a theory to explain this phenomenon...listen and tell me if you think it'll hold water.
Scientists have proven that on average, while watching TV, your brain is closer to being dead than it is when you sleep. The exceptions are of course, in some shows that can be found on the discovery channel, the history channel, etc. So here's what I think. While flipping channels, your brain is still somewhat engaged. But as soon as it is exposed to something like to home-shopping network, it is immediately thrown into a comatose state. During the few minutes that follow, your brain is so disengaged, that you temporarily lose your ability to make sound judgement and act accordingly. Then, as your brain can't handle being inactive for that long, you sort of come to and realize what you're watching and are able once again to make rational decisions. It makes sense to me.
In closing, kudos to Isha for getting the riddle right! Have you heard it before? I hadn't, and it took me about half an hour to figure it out, but it's a rather good one.

*Note about picture: I decided to add my own captions to the photo--make it more meaningful. But I'd like you all to know that the site that I got this photo from was RIDICULOUS. It actually made me laugh out loud to see how many freakin' photos of Johnny Depp there were on that freakin' site! There were 11 pages of thumbnails of him from this movie alone. If you printed them all out and stapled them together, you could practically watch the whole movie in flip-book format. It would lose a lot of its glory that way, but that must have been the ultimate goal of the person who created the site. I may have crossed over to the Depp Side but I will never be that entrenched! I pity the fool who is.

6 comments:

J-E-N said...

What strange intunement we have. I've been the exact same way with the Johnny Depp Movement thingy until this summer too. Now everytime I go to Blockbuster I have to find a movie with either him, John Cusak, or Tom Hanks in it. It's a weird yet pleasant faze.

Liz-a-nator said...

Oh and John Cusack! I've always found him wonderful...top-notch actor and attractive man. Does Casey sort of remind you of John Cusack sometimes?
I'm glad you agree about Monseuir Depp. I was afraid I would be ostracized and fall helplessly into the clutches of those who would make out with the man at the drop of a hat. But who wears hats nowadays anyhow?

J-E-N said...

Come to think of it, yeah, he kind of does remind me of Casey. Or, the other way around. Cool...I miss Casey.
I'm also glad you don't find Jack Sparrow attractive because then our friendship might have to end. (Do you get it yet?)

Willie Z said...

Huzzah for captions!

For the longest time, I, too, was staunchly anti-Depp based on my sister's infatuation with his pirate alterego. Over time, I've come to appreciate him, though. Top-notch portrayal of Dr. Thompson in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (which I'm not necessarily recommending--I don't think you'd like it much).

I got my sister three Depp posters for Christmas. She was ecstatic. The Edward Scissorhands poster was particularly cool, in my opinion.

Beckah said...

I do not think that Mr. Depp is attractive in the least, but as I am as much of a fan as I can be of Mr. Burton's, I have come to appreciate Mr. Depp's abilities in the acting capacity. Have you seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? A marvelous little piece of work. I, for one, am extremely excited for Corpse Bride.

Liz-a-nator said...

Heck yes! "Corpse Bride"= excitement! Yay for Tim Burton and Danny Elfman and Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham-Carter too!