Saturday, September 03, 2011

Coming out from being under

So Jacob told me later about some of the things I said and did while waking up from the anesthesia. Here are a handful of them. He keeps regretting not having recorded it. But here are rough ideas of what he remembers. The majority of these things were repeated several times.

The first thing I said when waking up was: "There was a raccoon in the tent! It was trying to get in." (I have two phobias: raccoons and medical procedures. Apparently the presence of one inspired worry about the other.)

Me: Are we in the same room?
Jacob: Yeah. You're just facing a different direction.
(5 minutes later)
Me: Are we in the same room?
Jacob: Did you ask if we're in the same room?
Me: Yeah.
Jacob: Yeah, we're in the same room. You're facing a different direction.
Me: Oh yeah.
(5 minutes later)
Me: Are we in the same room?

Me: My tongue feels big. Is my tongue okay? I don't know if my tongue is there. Can you see my tongue?
Jacob: Yeah, your tongue is there.
Me: I don't want to swallow it.

Me: Am I crazy?
Jacob: Like are you acting weird?
Me: Yeah.
Jacob: Kind of. You know that "David After Dentist" video on youtube? It's like that.
Me: *giggling*

Me: There's a boa constrictor on my arm.
Jacob: That's not a boa constrictor. That's a blood pressure cuff.
Me: (pause) Like at Walmart?
Jacob: Yeah.
Liz: Oh.
(I apparently asked about why my arm hurt several times, and kept having to be reminded that it was the blood pressure cuff. I actually remember saying the boa constrictor thing again later as a joke, but anesthesia makes your timing a little off, and I remember thinking that my delivery wasn't as good as I had envisioned.)

Me: Water? Can I have water? My throat is dry.
Jacob: (trying to help me take a drink from a water bottle, but it was an epic fail and went down my shirt instead of into my entirely numb mouth) I'm sorry. Did you get any that time?
Me: Yeah. On my boobies.
(5 minutes later)
Me: Why are my boobies cold?
Jacob: (explaining the water incident)
Me: Oh yeah.

And the things I said the most often were variations on this speech. I had been pretty terrified, as my previous post explained, and Jacob said I was absolutely blissfully, childishly happy about having survived the ordeal. I kept saying things to this effect:
"I did it! And you helped me! I'm a champion! And you're a champion cause you helped me! I beat it. I kicked it in the balls! I did it. Jacob helped me and Jesus helped me and Jordan helped me, and I'm a champion." (I also named Jacob, Jordan, Jesus, the nurses, the receptionist and Dr. Lee as champions for helping me as well.)

Also, one of these monologues included Jacob saying "Yeah, you did do it!" and me replying "I love you so much and I'm going to have your babies." Another one ended with me saying "You helped me. And you're a champion. And you have great abs."


Anonymous said...

I have no one who recorded any of the things I said. I do remember waking up in bed and wondering how in the world I got there. After pondering a while, I did remember being draped over a car door by my mom and then later, her pulling off my pants ...


Beckah said...

I was awake and it was not nearly as epic. I didn't even swell up that much. So unfortunately I have no cool stories to tell.

Word verification: "derribbl" - the action of water falling out of your numb mouth.

mallosaurus said...

hahahahha this is awesome. i love the boa constrictor one. and that jacob has great abs. hahahha.

also the verification word is "cablychr" which makes me think of "cab licker" which is gross. you're the one who got me looking at those word verification thinks, by the way.