The Arena

I had a really interesting dream last night, and I wanted to capture it somehow, so I wrote out this little script this afternoon. I'm not sure if it means anything, but there was enough literary meat there to make a decent meal. (I've become rather heavy-handed/misguided in my metaphors lately, but don't worry, there aren't any metaphors in the following script.) (Oh, and Carrie, the other part of the dream was that you and Scott had a son, and he had red hair. Your son, I mean. Bets on if that comes true?)

ALL THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE
or THE BACHELOR

An indoor soccer arena. The stands are filled, and there are people standing on the edges of the field. ELAINE and JOSHUA (husband and wife) walk in and find a place against the wall. As close friends of DANIEL, they have VIP pins on their shirts. A girl named JESSIE stands nearby. She is average height, but round. She dresses about 10 years behind current fashion, and her hair is pulled back into a ponytail with a scrunchy. One can tell she lacks confidence, mostly because of her weight. Her friends are fixing her hair, and one of them pulls the scrunchy off and replaces it with a ribbon. She is constantly fidgeting and keeps looking up at the banner of DANIEL’s face hung at one end of the arena.

ELAINE: (to JESSIE) You nervous?

JESSIE: (nodding) I talked with him yesterday.

ELAINE: Yeah?

JESSIE: I don’t know if he’d remember me, but I…(glances up at the banner, and then at ELAINE. Something in ELAINE’s face invites a sudden confidence)…but I think I’ve loved him for as long as I can remember.

ELAINE: Did you know him? I mean, before all this?

JESSIE: We went to school together. He used to call me “Piglet.” (looks down) I don’t have any hope that he’d…you know, that he’d…pick me. But I just wanted to…

ELAINE: …say good-bye?

JESSIE: (tears fill her eyes) I was going to say wish him luck, but…I guess that’s it too.

Suddenly the crowd starts cheering madly, and DANIEL walks out into the arena, through a door right between ELAINE and JESSIE. JESSIE frantically wipes her tears away, and pulls on her shirt self-consciously.

DANIEL: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming out here today to witness this! This has been an incredible journey, and I have met some truly beautiful women. (winks at a few) I’m sure you’re all waiting to find out my choice. There have been many incredible options, but I have chosen (walks toward JESSIE) someone who’s got all the goodness of the world in her heart! (takes JESSIE in his arms and kisses her, the crowd cheers madly and camera lights flash) Yes, yes. The future is beautiful. And I can’t wait (leans in towards ELAINE seductively, ELAINE backs away and gives him a “Really?” eye roll) to discover all the beauty the world has in store for me.

The crowd claps wildly. DANIEL waves and signs autographs. JESSIE has burst into tears, and is being led out of the arena by her ecstatic friends and several of DANIEL’s employees. Soon the arena is empty except for JOSHUA, ELAINE and DANIEL.

DANIEL: (to ELAINE) Well?

ELAINE: (arms folded in anger) Do you realize what you’ve just done?

DANIEL: What? Only made that little girl’s wildest dreams come true!

ELAINE: (almost under her breath) Yeah, because you’re just perfect, aren’t you?

DANIEL: She seems to think so.

ELAINE: (advancing angrily) You know what I hate?

DANIEL: (backing away) Wait a minute—

ELAINE: Come back here so I can hit you!

DANIEL: I just did a good thing out there!

ELAINE: (catching up and hitting his chest angrily) The worst thing about you good-looking people is that you don’t have to put any work into being perfect! (pushes him into the lobby) People just like you, and they don’t even know who you are!

DANIEL: Hey hey hey!

ELAINE: Do you love that girl?

DANIEL: What?

ELAINE: Do you love that girl?

DANIEL: Who cares?

DANIEL: She does, you asshole! Dammit, Daniel, everyone in the world is looking at you! You have—ugh! You have the opportunity of a lifetime. She worships the ground you walk on. You have the opportunity to make someone really happy. And you’re throwing it away. You’re taking that girl’s love and you’re throwing it away. In front of thousands of people.

DANIEL: She digs me. Who cares what else happens?

ELAINE: (turning away and shaking head)

DANIEL: (calling after her) I’m a frickin’ Samaritan, that’s what I am! Did you hear that clapping? I'm the greatest thing any of them have ever seen!

ELAINE: (turning back) Right. Tell her that when she finds out about your first affair.

DANIEL: (advancing seductively) And who will that be, I wonder…

ELAINE: Don’t you touch me. (pause) If you were as perfect as everyone thinks you are, you would go to that girl right now, and break it off.

DANIEL: But that’s—

ELAINE: Break it off, Daniel. (walks back into the arena for JOSHUA)

JOSHUA: Did he listen?

ELAINE: Don’t ask me that.

(JOSHUA and ELAINE walk out of the arena and out of the building, leaving DANIEL in the lobby)

Share:facebook - twitter - pinterest

The Arena