She May Be Naked: A little stroll down "Fall Semester 2004 Lane"

Going through an old yahoo account tonight, I came across an e-mail I sent to family and friends during my first semester here at BYU-Idaho. It made me laugh, so I thought I'd share it here. Some of these things are still quite true, and some of them were only very true then. But it captures the essence of being a 19-year-old girl during her first semester at BYU-Idaho. So here it is:

Well, it is Saturday night, and my dear room-mate Alexis and I, not having
dates and being the only ones home at 10:30 on a Saturday night, have
written the unofficial commandments of attending BYU-I. These come from
private experience and will not be found in any handbooks. For those
interested in attending a church school, you may find these beneficial. Some
may be exclusive only to BYU-Idaho, but we don't know for sure because we
haven't been anywhere else.

COMMANDMENTS FOR ATTENDING BYU-IDAHO

1. If you want to be involved in MANY activities, don't get yourself cast in
a play.

2. Avoid Preemies (for those not familiar with BYU-I terminology, that means
a "Pre-Mission boy"). They make great friends, but most of them are
righteous and afraid that girls will jepoardize their missions, and
therefore won't call you back or hang out with you and if they seem to
suspect that you're stalking them, they start to avoid you in the Galley
(BYU-I's cafeteria).

3. Don't always eat in the Galley. They like to tease you by only SOMETIMES
having chocolate milk available.

4. Rexburg is a big town. Walk EVERYWHERE within the first month of fall
semester to become acclimated to the cold. Then, make friends with someone
who has a car.

5. Bring a guitar.

6. Be friends with people named Alexis, Ben, JD, and Kevin.

7. Don't smell bad.

8. If all of your room-mates have dates...EVERY NIGHT...and you and one or
two other room-mates NEVER have dates, do rebellious things, like stealing
construction cones. Then put the construction cones back exactly where you
got them from, just the like the police man is telling you. Then, call your
friend Kevin and tell him that you got in trouble with the law and that it
was his fault. Then, go back outside again to find your other room-mate,
because she is probably enjoying the opportuinity of seeing a really
attractive young man, who's a photographer and a ballroom dancer, and who
has sexy side-burns, and make sure you hurry because otherwise when you get
out there, he will be driving away and you will have to chase after him. But
he will probably ignore you.

9. Hang out with Canadians. Especially those named Jen.

10. Live with at least one unattractive girl. That way you won't feel like a
loser when you're home on a Friday night. And you can together complain
about boys and how stupid they are and girls and how shallow and scary they
are.

11. Read your syllabi. (That's plural of "syllabus"...)

12. Use the words "burgle" "rad" "wicked" and "quintessential."

13. Bring a Macintosh. Because they are very difficult to find. (**Note: This is no longer true.**)

14. Avoid boys whose named start with the letter "J." (Even thought they're
all really attractive and oh so much fun, don't let it fool you...they're
bad news.)

15. When everyone tells you that BYU-I is the land of RM's and that you
should prepare to be swept off your feet by a million clean cut young men,
they're lying. There is an average of 1 guy to every 4 girls, RM or not, and
they don't tend to do a lot of sweeping up young ladies. At least if you're
me, they don't really sweep. They sort of mop, if anything.