Monday, January 16, 2006

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." --Oscar Wilde

It occured to me after choosing the quote for the title of this blog that it sounds slightly patronizing. In no way do I mean to say "Yeah, the fact that your life sucks doesn't make you different from anyone else, and I'm better at being positive." That's not what I mean at all. I chose the quote because it was Oscar Wilde and because I read it to mean "When life sucks, you can wallow or look up." And personally, I need a reminder to look up right about rose-colored glasses have become a bit smudged as of late.
Life is really not going fantastically for a lot of my friends at the moment, but all of a sudden I find that I'm one of them. Like suddenly, I'M one of the people who's life sucks right now. I'm not even sure anymore of how everything happened, or even of what happened in some cases. All I know is that I've cried more in the last 4 days than I ever have in my life. I still don't have a job for sure yet, I was NOT cast in the show, and just after my heart healed from the OTHER boy fiasco this year, it's back in the blender again. Shmer.
Okay, so I contemplated filling this entry with all of my woes, but after thinking about it, it occured to me that it won't do ANYONE any good. I've already written them in my journal, and I don't want to depress anyone, and anyone who I DO want to have aware of the stuff going on right now, already know. So instead, I think a little encouragement will be just what I and others need.
A little story...
I was on a walk last night (I've been going on a lot of those lately) and listening to some music and just thinking. **Random humorous insert: While walking last night, I got kind of up in the hills on the outskirts of Rexburg, and after a certain point, I sort of stopped paying attention to where I was going. After a little while, I noticed that I was walking in snow, and just thought to myself "Oh, I guess they didn't plow up here" and kept going. But then the snow kept getting deeper and deeper until I was sinking up to my knees. At that point, I looked up and discovered that I was in the middle of NOWHERE. There were no houses, no roads, no streetlights...just this vast frozen tundra. It was really clear and the moon's nearly full right now, so there was plenty of light, but it was still a little freaky. Luckily, I have a strong sense of direction--at least when it comes to east/west/north/south--so I just headed towards where I knew the city was and found my way back to the road. Apparently after I stopped paying attention to where I was going, I had just wandered into a potato feild and completely left the road. It was really confusing, but in a fun kind of a way. That was the adventure of the night.** Anyway, I was listening to my newest Aquabats CD (thanks, Sis, it's the best one ever), and the last song on it is called "Hello, Goodnight." Listening to it, I had a sort of realization or two. I won't explain all of that, but the point is that I know a lot of you are having a rough time right now. These lyrics kinda boosted me up, so I'll share them in hopes that they can do the same for you.

Here's something to think about
When things go wrong all the time
That luck can change like that high tide
Bad things can soon turn out alright

Misfortune, a tradgedy
I can't seem to mind
Soon good will happen
If you look you just might find

So when you think this is the end
Good things are just around the end
Again, bad things are just a sign
Good things will happen in due time

And with each passing day
So goes another life
Everybody wants to live
Some people want to die
So close your eyes
'cause it's alright to say
Hello, goodnight


So if this is to be our time
Just think of what we left behind
Will they say good of you to last
Or lose the memory of you fast?

Forever and ever
A wonderful thing
Will someone be grateful
For what we tried to bring?

It's late....
But just remember then
This day will never come again

Everybody wants to live
Some people want to die
So close your eyes
'cause it's alright to say
Hello, goodnight

Hello, goodnight. . . . .
--The Aquabats, "Hello, Goodnight"

I love you all and you are in my prayers constantly. A hug or two is being sent from the frozen tundra of Rexburg. Actually, it's being sent from Liz, but Liz is in Rexburg, so I think you get the point. And the hug, too, I hope.


Baxamus said...

Yah, watch out for those frozen tundra hugs. They are toughies. Hey thanks, Liz. You are an amazing, selfless girl. I'll be sure to cuddle with you extra whenever you come back! Smile!

Liz-a-nator said...

Thanks, Steven. You're one one of my inspirations, you know. I look forward to the cuddle...know any good cuddle spots? =)

Willie Z said...

My thoughts are with you, Liz. I'm still your #1 fan.

I kinda wish I'd unknowingly wander onto the tundra every now and then.

Liz-a-nator said...

High five Willie. You're my hero. As cold and confusing as it was to wander into a frozen tundra, it was also really cool.