Thursday, October 06, 2005

I'd give heaven and hell to get outta here--someone tell Lady Luck that I'm stuck here

I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When I made the decision last spring to stay in Rexburg over the summer, I felt confident that I would enjoy every minute of it, and that the changes that would occur would be enough to keep life from becoming too monotonous. For years, I've told myself and honestly believed that I don't want to live in a big city. And then I spent a week in Manhattan.
I just need out somehow...I need some sort of a change. Rexburg and Wal-mart, and the same classes and the same routine, all of that is stifling me.
I called in sick to work today for the third time this week. If I get fired, I'll rejoice in the day.
Realistically speaking, I could just get out and go somewhere new come winter semester. I could get an internship at Disneyworld. I could live in the Bay Area for a while. I could transfer to film school for a little while. But the complications lie in 3 things.
One, I have somewhat limited finances. Although I've not let that stop me before.
Two, I'd really like to do Playmill this coming summer. Having been through auditions once, and now having been to the Playmill several times, I have a better idea of what they're looking for, and what talents I can develop and showcase to my best advantage when auditioning. I'm not saying I'm guaranteed to get in this time, but it seems much more likely to me.
Three, I have a good many dear friends who are graduating this spring. The thought of not being here to share their last year just breaks my heart.
Of course, there's also "School for Scandal" that I'd love to be in winter semester, and "Comic Frenzy," which I'm possibly managing or auditioning for, and the fact that I would like to actually get my college degree within the next 3 or 4 years.
I need a vacation. Emotionally and physically. The 5 consecutive candy bars I ate last night didn't do it for me.

He said "Bill, I believe this is killing me,"
As the smile ran away from his face
"Well, I'm sure that I could be a movie star,
If I could get out of this place."
--Billy Joel, "Piano Man"

1 comment:

isha said...

not good liz....