Sunday, June 05, 2011

A list of things

Things I don't like very much:
- Hay fever
- The closest Barnes and Noble being half an hour away (although this is probably better for our bank account)
- Realizing on a Sunday that every single thing you can think of to make/eat calls for milk, and not having any in the house

Things I don't understand (which doesn't mean I dislike them...I just don't get it):
- Rustic farm equipment used for front yard decorations (Like, wagon wheels in the flower beds and stuff. It looks odd to me.)
- Why people sometimes have both an iPod AND an iPhone. Isn't the whole point to have everything in one device?
- Why restaurants in college towns would turn the fryer off at 10:30 on a Saturday night

Things I love:
- Netflix Instant Viewing
- Steak
- Emails telling me I've recently won/inherited/been asked to transfer an enormous amount of money. Like this one, which is probably the best one I've ever received. I've kept it in my inbox for like two months because it cracks me up. Everything is as it was in the original email...spelling, grammar, etc.

Subject: PLEASE ASSIST FOR HUMANITY SAKE

Dear Beloved,

First, I must apologize to you for using this medium to communicate to you about this project I am the above named person from Cardiff, Wales I was married to Mr. Ronald Rich who worked with the British embassy in Kuwait for nine years before he died in March, 2007.We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $8.5Million (Eight Million five hundred thousand U.S. Dollars) in cash with a security company in London.Presently, this money is still with the security company , my doctor told me that I would not last for the next three weeks due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke.
[This line is probably my favorite part.]

Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to cancer research centers. I am therefore looking for any individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct. The person must also donate to orphanages, Research centers and widows propagating the word [another favorite line], I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money. I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an unjust manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.

I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health and the presence of my husbands relatives around me always as they are very greedy and only hope that i die soon to enable them claim the rest of my husbands wealth hence I don’t want them to know about this development,by his grace, all things are possible. As soon as i receive your reply I shall give you the contact of an attorney who would help you for the immediate release of the funds to you in cash or by telegraphic wire transfer.I will also issue a letter of authority that will empower you as the new beneficiary of this fund.Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.

Hope to hear from you soon through my private ------- and be assured that it will not take more than 7 working days for you to receive the funds from the date you acknowledge receipt of this mail.

Remain Blessed,
Elizabeth Rich.


I want to contact this person and tell them they should write for television.

(Also, here's a tip: My dad works at an embassy, and he is not a millionaire. Very few embassy workers are.)

3 comments:

France is said...

what ARE these emails?! lolrcopter. WF: echalluc: sneezing while eating challuh bread.

Anna Alyse said...

ummm, exactly how often do you receive these emails...? that was probably one of the more random things I have read today. My junk email is always so boring. dang.

Świat Alex'a said...

Gratuluję, fajny blog i ciekawe tematy. Pozdrawiam i zapraszam na mojego bloga, piłka nożna to mój ulubiony sport ale jest tam wiele innych ciekawych tematów z życia.