Monday, November 08, 2010

Shopping at the wrong time of the month


Know what I hate? Almost more than anything else in the world?

Crowded stores.

I hate 'em. I hate them more than slushy sidewalks or soggy cereal or waking up right before your alarm goes off.

I probably hate them so much because I have to deal with them on a more regular basis than any of the other above-mentioned things. People in small towns don't seem to understand walking traffic patterns, and no one is aware of their personal space, and everyone talks SO LOUD, about who's roommate said what and is she really mad or is her hair even real and blah blah blah, and even if all I need is a gallon of organic milk and a snow scraper, I am forced to navigate through all of the inherent cruelties of capitalism (not that capitalism is inherently cruel by nature, but there are aspects of it that are cruel and inherent) and crowds of obnoxious people who stop in doorways and walkways and JUST STAND THERE. I end up despising my peers and correcting their grammar in my head, and hating consumerism with all kinds of force.

I have never been to a store on Black Friday. Wanna know why? Because I just learned last year that it's called "Black Friday" because stores are financially "in the black" and can afford to sell everything at low prices. I always thought it was called "Black Friday" because it's such a nightmare. As in, "It's a black day at Walmart." And I still think my definition is more accurate. Why would you go shopping on a day the name of which reminds me of the plague?

Anyway. I got my gallon of milk and snow scraper. I'll catch up on the 30-day Photo Challenge tomorrow (day 10. a photo of you as a baby, day 11. a photo of your favourite film(s), day 12. a photo of you). Tonight, I'm going to stay in my hovel, away from humanity and retail, and eat brownies while I try to catch up on New Testament homework.

6 comments:

Ms. Jennings said...

I know~I can't do it. It's like a phobia for me.

France is said...

I didnt even know what black friday was until last year when i had to work it. it was terrible. i hate crowds. the word verf. is pruil and prude pill.

Brandilyn said...

you sound like david and i alllll the time. we hate crowds. we avoid them at all costs. broulims on saturday night? WORST! and i alllllwyas make fun of obnoxious 18 year olds in my head. i feel bad...but i do it.

Liz-a-nator said...

I know! This is why I prefer shopping at like 11 pm. Darcy and I talked about that once. The whole store is yours. No 18-year-olds who demand to be mocked. (We are cruel elitist folk, I fear...)

The funny thing is I love big cities. But in big cities, everyone knows HOW TO BE IN A CROWD. There are different rules of navigation and some people just haven't grown up learning them by instinct in large crowds.

Anonymous said...

Word.

-Professor Mordecai E. Cuddlesworth-Gigolo, Esq.

Anonymous said...

It's probably the "hate shopping" gene passed along from me ... it's not only the crowds, but needing buy something I rarely need to buy and having SO much to pick from. I stand there and become immobilized. If I can buy via internet, I do. Research what's the best thing, find it on-line with free shipping ... and often, no tax. Hooray!

Love you!
Mom
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word verification: irium - feeling irate about pandemonium