Sunday, August 31, 2008

The status of a Kirby Salesgirl

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1c27_1

I got a job this week. I sell Kirby vacuum cleaners. Door to door. I go to work at around 9:30 in the morning and come home around 11:30 at night. Every day except Sunday. But I'm having fun, and making good money! Since I was such a facebook junkie in my pre-employment days, I thought I'd utilize one of them fancy facebook features to tell you about my first three days on the job.

THE STATI OF LIZ DURING HER FIRST THREE DAYS AS A KIRBY SALESGIRL:

Liz made $700 this week.

Liz just finished a thirteen-hour workday.

Liz handled teasing by divine assistance.

Liz can tie a tie.

Liz is the only Caucasion.

Liz would like to clarify that abandoning two people at a table at a McDonalds does NOT constitute a "date."

Liz hates custom doorbells.

Liz DARES you to tell a clean joke.

Liz's calves are sore.

Liz met a dancing, elderly Spanish man.

Liz is "The Mormon Connection."

Liz fell asleep in the arms of a Russian.

Liz saw a blonde wig on a garden bench.

Liz has concluded that the donuts in the office every morning fall short of Broulims donuts.

Liz can swear in Arabic.

Liz is intimidated and thrilled by questions about the Church.

Liz is in your neighborhood today, doing a free carpet cleaning for one room in your house, and for every demonstration she does, she gets points towards a free cruise to the Caribbean...

Liz apologizes for spilling an Oreo shake in the van, but isn't sure if buying Vaz lunch is equal compensation for the small amount he got on his shoe.

1 comment:

Guy Mayhem said...

Door to door, eh? You're a brave girl, Ms. Whittaker. Good luck with all that.